How to enjoy Facebook again

Is Facebook frustrating you, because of all the "noise" - the constant status updates from friends that you just are NOT interested in or that get your blood boiling? The game invites? The advertising your friends are promoting because they keep liking things like shoe companies? The fear over how Facebook might use your data?

If you are frustrated with Facebook, then in many ways, it's your own fault: Facebook content that you see is, the majority of the time, content you have CHOSEN to see, directly or indirectly. If you don't like what you're seeing, then you need to make some different choices. 

Rather than deleting your Facebook account, or unfriending people, here are 11 easy ways you can make Facebook fun instead of frustrating:

Take annoying friends out of your newsfeed, rather than unfriending them. 

No person you do this to will know you've done this - though they may suspect it if you don't ever comment on their status updates. It's easy to do: 

• Go to the person's Facebook page (you can get there by clicking on the person's name, or typing it into the search field). 
• Then, over your cursor over the "friends" button at the top of the page. A menu will appear, and there will be a check next to "show in newsfeed." 
• Click on that to uncheck it, and you will no longer see that person's status updates in your newsfeed, EVER - but you can always go to the person's page whenever you feel like it and comment on status updates if you want to. 

OR, you can choose "settings" and choose exactly what status updates you want to get in your newsfeed, versus those you don't (like game invitations).  

Stop the game & apps invitations.

You can use the aforementioned step, under "settings," to block game invitations from the people who are annoying you with these. Also, each time you get a game or app invite, go to your Facebook home page, and on the left side of the page, click on "App Center." This allows you to both block any invitations regarding that app or game ever again, AND to block all invites from the person that sent you the invite. After doing this for just a few weeks, you will see a huge drop in the number of invites you receive - in fact, they may disappear altogether, if it's the same friends sending you these invites again and again. Your friends will never know you've blocked their game and app invites. 

Hide advertisements your friends have posted in your newsfeed

Sometimes, a Facebook user will like a store or product and not realize this like generates an ad on the newsfeed of ALL their friends. The first step in this list will take care of that for frequent offenders among your friends. Another strategy is this: if you put your mouse to the right of the ad in your newsfeed, or for any notice on your newsfeed, for that matter, an arrow pointing down will appear. Click on it and you will get a short menu. One of the choices is "hide." Choose it, and not only will the ad be hidden, you will often get a choice to block ALL ads from that particular company. Do this for a few weeks, and you will see the number of ads in your newsfeed drop significantly - but they will never disappear altogether. 

Don't like absolutely everything/anything

When you like something, you are saying to all of your Facebook friends "I want to be identified with this company/causes." And if you are liking a company or product, you are also saying, "Please put advertisements in my newsfeed." Instead, be deliberate about your "likes". What would you like to read everyday: updates from your state parks agency? updates from nonprofit organizations you like? advice on saving money? funny cartoons? inspirational sayings that reflect your values/beliefs? political updates in line with your values? Seek out the pages of organizations, media outlets and causes that you truly want to read about EVERY DAY, and like those - and only those. 

Don't be afraid to say no to a friend request

I've said "no" to invites. People have said "no" to my invitations. Because I've said no to many people, I understand completely why others have said "no" to me - just as I don't invite everyone I know to a barbecue in my backyard, I may not want you to be on my Facebook community of friends, and vice versa.  I have family members who are not Facebook friends specifically for this reason. 

Do not share anything on Facebook you wouldn't be comfortable with ANYONE seeing. 

You cannot complain about Facebook privacy settings constantly changing - the company has NO obligation to make confidential information you freely share online with your friends via its platform. Instead of whining about it, start being as savvy as you are offline about what you put in writing, what information you share with strangers, what photos you take, and what photos you share. And the reality is, unless the photo is of you doing something illegal, or doing something that might get you fired, most people, even strangers, DON'T care. 

Feel free to ask friends to take something down.

If someone shares a photo of you on Facebook and you don't want it online, call them or email them directly and ask them to take it down. If they refuse, it's time to unfriend - online and in real life. 

Take your birthday and physical address off of Facebook. 

GET IT OFF OF THERE. Your birthday and mailing address are pieces of precious information that can be used to find out just about anything about you. It's used by third party apps that Facebook to find out more about you so they can better sell you stuff - and by nefarious people and organizations that want to rip you off. An alternative is to put your birthday on your "events" on Facebook, as an annual event, and invite everyone to it. Or post the day before your birthday and say, "Holy cow, I turn xx years old tomorrow!" But get your birthday OFF Facebook! Fine to put your city and state and country there, but leave other info that can be used to find you off your "about" page. 

Take your middle name off Facebook unless it's what most people call you.

Your middle name is another piece of precious information that can be used to find out just about anything about you. It's used by third party apps that Facebook to find out more about you so they can better sell you stuff - and by nefarious people and organizations that want to rip you off. 

Don't use Facebook to log in to anything else! 

When you get that "login with Facebook?" screen, ignore it and look for the "create an account" instead. When you use Facebook to log in to a non-Facebook site, you are giving that site access to ALL INFORMATION YOU HAVE POSTED TO FACEBOOK. Don't do it! 

You might need two Facebook accounts. 

This is a big violation of Facebook's policy, and if you get caught, you will get a warning message the next time you log into Facebook saying they know and that you have to delete one of the accounts. Still, it's a strategy worth trying if you really want to use Facebook in two different ways - one with good friends and one a more public face where you friend co-workers, neighbors, colleagues, etc. To do it successfully (and I offer no guarantees that you still won't get nabbed):

• Create two slightly different account names - one could be your real name and one could have an extra letter somewhere in your first or last name, or "Q" as the middle initial, or just your first name's initial. 
• Create different locations for these two profiles - one listing the city where you really are, and one for a city nearby or for a city where you would love to be. 
• Don't friend exactly the same people for these two profiles - you could have a *few* friends on both accounts, but the more friends these two accounts share, the more likely Facebook will catch you. 
• Do NOT put your current and previous employers in both accounts - put such in ONLY the account you consider your more public account for colleagues and co-workers. 
• Do NOT put your family connections in both accounts - if you want to show to whom you're married, who your Mom and Dad are, siblings, etc., choose one account or the other, but don't try to do it on both.
• You will have to use two different email addresses for each of these accounts.
• Do all you can to make these individual profile's "about me" sections as different as possible. 

Happy Facebooking!

Fun with costumes

Recent goings on...

Stefan went to Japan for his job. I was insanely jealous! He's been to China and Japan without me! Well, I've been to India, Australia and Afghanistan without him, so we're even... just gives us both more places we have to go again someday together.

He didn't get to stay long - and didn't see much, because of work and snow. But his photos are worth looking at.

Anyway, he brought me a Japanese kimono! It's a "tourist kimono" - a polyester bathrobe that's made to look like a silk kimono, and doesn't take four hours and an assistant to put on. But I love it! I always wanted one of these as a little girl. I love the cranes, I love the snow-covered mountain on it... well done, my love!

The maps behind me in this photo, BTW, show where Stefan's been on his motorcycle in the Western USA and in Europe. Maps of where I've been via motorcycle wouldn't be nearly so extensive. This is in his office in our new house.

He also brought me this (at right). No, it's not to play doctor. We've seen a lot of Japanese tourists wearing while they are abroad - in Europe, we would see busloads wearing this while, for instance, touring Paris. Stefan says a lot of people wear such in Japan as well - so it's not just for tourists.

I wonder if anyone will bother to tell them that this just prevents you from spreading your diseases to others - it doesn't protect *you* at all from catching anything?

Yes, we're easily amused.

Chicken (or turkey) pot pie recipe

This is a recipe from a friend, with a few changes by me.

Can also be used with turkey.

And you can probably substitute whatever vegetables you like. Why not?!

This recipe makes at least two pot pies, if not three (one little one).

Yes, this photo is of two chicken pot pies I made in February 2013.

INGREDIENTS

Either:
4 chicken breasts
OR
a whole chicken
OR
4-5 chicken thighs 

OR

leftover turkey (depending on how much turkey you have left)

(I tend to use chicken thighs 'cause they're cheaper that the other chicken options)

1 onion chopped
1 1/2 cups of chopped carrots
1 1/2 cups of chopped celery
2 cans cream of chicken soup (you can use Campbell's Healthy Start as a slightly healthier alternative to regular Cambell's)
1 cup Chicken stock
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning OR 1 tablespoon of  marjoram (I use the latter)
1 cup frozen pearl onions (optional)
1 cup frozen peas
salt pepper
4 deep dish pie crusts (or make crusts from Bisquick or flour)
(I always have more than enough filling for two pies, so I try to make a third little pie with the pie crust dough I cut off later)

You can substitute yellow squash and/or green beans for the carrots and celery, if you want.

DIRECTIONS

If using frozen pie crusts, take them out to thaw - but ONLY for 25 minutes. That means don't start thawing them until the chicken is resting. Otherwise, they get too doughy.

If cooking the chicken (rather than using leftovers):

Put the chicken, chopped onion, carrots and celery into one baking dish, season with salt and pepper, drizzle well with olive oil, and bake or roast together at 400 degrees - will take 40 minutes to an hour, depending on how much chicken or turkey you are using. 

When it's done, take it out and let the chicken and veggies rest for 25 mins, at least.

If using leftover cooked meat:

Put carrots in a plastic bag along with olive oil and 1 T poultry seasoning OR 1 heaping teaspoon of marjoram. Shake vigorously to ensure oil and seasoning cover everything. 

Roast onion, carrots & celery in a 400-degree oven till done (this does not take long if you cut things thinly! Like, 10 minutes!). 

Sautee onion in butter. 

In a very large bowl mix the cream of chicken soup and chicken stock. You can cut some of the stock with juice from the roasted meat, if you have it.

Chop or shred the chicken and add it along with the onion, celery, carrots, pearl onions and frozen peas to the soup mixture and stir until it's well-mixed.  

If making crusts yourself, this is when to do it. I like Bisquick crusts most, because they are better than ready-made Pilsbury. But no judgment if you use ready-made. They are still really delicious. You want them as thin as possible. If you get a hole, just grab some dough, flatten it and patch it

Divide the mixture between 2 pie crusts. Don't overfill! You will probably have mixture leftover.

Top the filled pies with crusts. You will probably cut some dough all around the pie, because it will be too long. Pinch it all around the side. Save the cut dough - you may be able to make a mini pie at the very end. 

Make slits in the top of the crust for steam to escape. Cut off any pie crust hanging over the side - you will might have enough dough after doing this to make a little pot pie, especially if you have one more pie crust to use.

Bake all of them at 375 for 45 mins - 1 hour.

Eat one (nom nom nom). Cool the rest off, then freeze them (Better to cook and then freeze, rather than to freeze uncooked).

Cooked but frozen: Bake at 325 for 45 - 1 hour.

Battle of the blogs

First came a letter from Janine Kovac to her "friend", Doris

Then came a LOT of responses - the best of which is this alternative letter that sums up just what I, too, think of Doris's "friend."

And then Doris' friend Janine apologized for being an ass. Which I have to say I really respected - it's a heart-felt apology, not one of those awful "Sorry if I said something that might have offended someone" non-apologies I'm so tired of.

I love you, Interwebs.

Us - as cartoons & non-preppers

I drew these for a little announcement flyer to distribute in our neighborhood, so people know who we are. We're adorable!

Hopefully, it won't take months to meet our neighbors, the way it did in Canby. As I told a friend recently, I'm the opposite of a "prepper" - instead of isolating myself and creating a fortress and seeing everyone as a "taker" or potential enemy, I get to know my neighbors. That's partly because I like people, and partly because studies show that people that survive disasters are the ones that are part of communities where members have a strong sense of helping one another.

Not that we don't have enough supplies and equipment to get us at least five days without electricity or the car. But if civilization can't rebound in five days, we're totally screwed.

The move

I've been a gypsy since I was 22 - I've moved 13 times in 25 years. Most of the times, it's been for work, but sometimes, not: I moved to Austin, Texas to find the me I lost (and I did!). You would think I would be really good at moving. I'm not. As I posted on Facebook, I start off carefully packing each box, making sure each item inside is protected, making sure each box is not too heavy, and packing things together that will be unpacked and placed together; but midway through, I start just throwing things in boxes and hoping for the best.

As I blogged about earlier, we bought a house in December, and are now living in Forest Grove, Oregon. We had started moving a car full of things every weekend since just after Christmas, and were feeling really optimistic about how much we'd moved and unpacked in four weeks time. But the Friday before our big, main move on Saturday, both of our offices were largely unpacked, and we both ran out of boxes. At around 8 in the evening, Stefan at last relented and said that, indeed, we needed help moving - my weak knees and slow-as-molasses-in-January ways just weren't going to be enough. We agreed that I would start calling at 7 in the morning the next day, trying to find movers.

That night, I slept 4 hours. 4. I need 7 just to be functional. I rarely have insomnia - I worship sleep, and do everything I can to have a really decent night. When I don't get enough sleep, it leads to tears, poor-decision-making and panic attacks the next day - I'm so not exaggerating. At university, I pulled some all-nighters, true, but that was 25 years ago - my middle-aged brain just can't handle that anymore.

At 7 a.m., we got up and I was on Yelp almost immediately, looking for movers. My first call was to VOZ Workers' Rights Education Fund - I really wanted to be supportive of people who really want to work, but the web site said one thing about when they were open, the Facebook page said another, and none of my calls were returned. I called four other places recommended (for the most part) on Yelp; two called back and were quite gracious but were fully booked - both said they could do it on Sunday. Then I called College Student Movers. Kyle said they were booked all day, but could be at our place in Canby by 3 to help load - but they'd only have time to load, not unload. I said YES!

A friend of Stefan's from work came to help load, and was AMAZING. I posted to my public Facebook account lamenting our need for movers, hoping for a recommendation, and my neighbor showed up - his daughter had been reading over her mom's shoulder on Facebook and said, "Oh, Mom, we HAVE to help her!" I went and got muffins and biscuits for munchies for our crew, blocked off the kitchen for Albi, and found little items for the kids next door to take out (they were DIEING to help).

By noon, I'd realized that we were going to be packed up and on the road by 2, and therefore would need the guys to help us UNPACK instead. Since they are based in Hillsboro, which is near Forest Grove, I was pretty sure this news would go over well. And it did - a text message and phone call and we were all set.

I loaded up what I could in the car, put Albi's bed in the very back of the Honda Fit, and then it was time to get Albi in. I was worried - she hadn't been in the car in many, many months. She's always loved to ride in the car, but in the last few months, her joints have become very sensitive - no more deep tissue massages like she used to love, as they hurt her now. I'm sure she's got more aches and pains than even me. I walked her out to the car, picked her up, and she tried to bite me. Good thing she's blind and couldn't see! I felt miserable for hurting her and started to tear up. As I drove off, I could see her in the rearview mirror, ears back, looking angry, and listening to figure out what in the hell was going on. I wondered if I was going to have to pull over to the side of the road. But within a couple of miles, she was doing the circle-before-I-lay-down dance, and she stayed reclined for the hour-long trip to our new home.

Once we got to Forest Grove, the movers were already helping Stefan unload. I left Albi in the car - she was laying down on her bed, seeming to be relatively content. And I left her there for an hour while I directed the movers to the proper rooms and made coffee.

I left my cell phone in the car, and during the move, Stefan was texting me , asking me to bring him coffee, and wondering why I was ignoring him. Sorry, honey!

One of the moving guys, Nobel (pronounced Noble), said he always wanted a German Shepard, so I picked him to help me get Albi out of the car. At first, I thought we'd try a ramp for her to walk down, but there was no board long enough that would give her any easy walk down. So I decided we'd just pick up the entire bed, with her on it, and lay it down in the drive way. Well, we could have walked Ms. Queen of Sheba into the house for all she cared. We laid her down on the drive way, and she just laid there, listening, wondering what in the heck was going on, but not making any effort to move - she was perfectly content on her bed. Sorry I didn't get a photo - I had no idea where my camera was. Eventually, I got her up to walk and I brought her and the bed into my office. I closed the door, and an hour later, when I checked on her, she was laying on her bed, just listening. Geesh what a good dog.

We had everything inside the house by 6 p.m. I tipped the movers big time - they so earned it - and then we heated up some leftover chinese food and talked about how hard this whole process has been. Because it's been HARD. I got the Internet working, Stefan put our bed together, and I realized for the first time how huge our bedroom is now and managed to do a little dance in celebration (plenty of room to put up Stefan's German closet without making the room feel crowded - I wasn't expecting SO much room!).

We spent about an hour on the Internet each, I took Albi out for one more pee, and we crashed at around 10.

Unfortunately, Albi was wired from all the new smells and surroundings, and got up more than a few times in the night. Finally, I got out of bed, took the pillow and covers with me, and slept in the floor with her. It was the only way she'd sleep. And I was so tired from the day, and from having only 4 hours sleep before, I slept soundly on the floor.

We still have stuff in Canby, even after going there again on Sunday and loading up a car full of stuff. We have paid rent through January, so there's no immediate deadline to get it all out, but it's frustrating to keep having to go back there. We have a growing list of repairs HERE that we'd really like to focus on.

My downfall, in terms of stuff, is books and papers. Once I started working from home, I had to create space for an entire career's worth of such. And I use a lot of the materials regularly - it's amazing what I can find in my little library that I can't find online. But I long to spend a week doing nothing but scanning things so I can throw the paper versions away. I've committed myself to getting rid of at least two full boxes of books and old software - I hope to do so through a combination of eBay, a garage sale, and a donation to Goodwill (there are SO many Goodwill outlets in Oregon - what's up with that?).

I'll try to scale back my non-work-related library, but the last time I did that, in 2000 in Austin, I deeply regretted it, as I love to re-read books, and I ended up hunting down some of those books in used books stores and re-buying them. I don't want to make that mistake again.

We bought a house

Haven't updated in a while because we have been immersed in HOUSE BUYING HELL. What an awful process. I've done tons of research over the years, asked friends lots of questions, and I thought I knew what to expect. I was wrong. I'm just really glad we were with a credit union rather than a for-profit bank - I can't imagine how much more awful the process would have been, how much more vigilant against getting scammed we would have had to be, if we'd been with a for-profit bank.

So… we bought a house! And we've moved fom Canby to Forest Grove. We hope it's the right move: that Stefan will, at last, be able to be a volunteer fireman (hope this can happen later in 2013), that he'll have a shorter commute to and from work, that I'll have an easier time getting to and from Portland via the barely marginal PDX public transit system (we continue our struggles to be a one-car family), and that the city will feel like home in a way that Canby never did.

I'm now a home owner, something I've never experienced before. I had a very particular image in my mind of what buying my first house would be like: it would also be the last house I bought, because I would love it so much, I would never want to leave it. There would be a back porch, room in the vast yard for every crazy gardening idea I ever wanted to do, a small bunk house for visiting motorcyclists, a chicken coop and small chicken yard, and space for my pet donkey that I would adopt soon after I bought the house. It would also be in a city and state I wanted to live in forever - I'd still travel, but I'd never move again.

That didn't happen. What we bought is not my dream house that I want to live in for the rest of my life - I couldn't find that house, unfortunately, at least not within my price range or that didn't need at least $100,000 worth of work. Our house is, instead, the proverbial "good investment." Given what I experienced in the housing market since July 2012, there's no question the economy is getting better, and will continue to do so, and buying a house now makes really great economic sense. Therefore, in five years, after ripping out all of the carpets in about 2000 square feet and replacing such with laminate that looks like hardwood flooring, replacing the single-pane windows, painting, putting in a french drain, retiling the main bathroom, putting in a French drain, getting the chimneys in working order, cleaning all the ducts and dealing with whatever huge problem I know is waiting in the wings (furnace? plumbing?), we will, supposedly, be able to sell this for much more than we paid for it.

Would be wonderful to remodel the kitchen and oh-so-pink main bathroom as well, but I'm not sure we can afford it.

And then there's our furniture - our furnishings are a hodgepodge. A couple of pieces are from my university days. Some are cast-offs from friends who were upgrading their own homes. Much of it is from Stefan's first apartment back in Germany. These will be the last things we replace, and that won't be for a couple of years, at least.

I don't at all regret not buying a house before now, as I've blogged about before. I hope I don't regret it now. Buying a house means no more looking for a job outside of PDX. It means I'm tied to this area in a way I've never been tied to anywhere before, and that scares me, the gypsy, hugely. If anything goes wrong, I have no one person to call to fix it - I have a growing list of numbers to handle the problems that are inevitably coming our way.

I'm happy to be here and I think that, in a couple of years, I might even be in love with this house, once the insides and outside look the way we want it, and we see that we can still travel as much as Stefan's vacation, and our budget, allows.  

I like the house, but I love the neighborhood. We live in a historic neighborhood, and many of the houses are gorgeous, either because they have been restored to their historic beauty or because people have remodeled them to be really funky and fun. In some ways, it reminds me of the Highlands in Louisville, though most of the houses are much smaller and much father apart. It's more of a feeling than a look.

Our house has tremendous potential. I think it will be beautiful once we've done all we want to, and that I'll love showing it off once those things are done. This is a neighborhood where it's normal to put raised beds in the front lawn for vegetables (the back yard is too dark for what I want to grow), and I can't wait to really garden again, something I haven't gotten to do since I lived in Austin. There's room for a green house in the front as well. I have a great idea for replacing part of the fence along the side of the house. And the backyard is going to be a great place for corn hole and grilling out, especially on very hot days. There's a big patch of bamboo, and I have all sorts of ideas for harvesting it and using it in various ways.

So... we bought a house!