Forgiving Shelly Winters

I watched way, way too much TV when I was growing up. And one of the shows I watched way too much of was Donahue. Why a pre-teen girl would watch Donahue, who knows... his shows weren't salacious like day-time talk shows today - even Oprah at times went down the ratings-sweeps road that Donahue avoided (I'm still mad about your amplification of the anti-vaccine movement, Oprah...). I just thought the topics were always interesting.

I remember one Donahue episode in particular: his guest was Shelly Winters. Shelly Winters has put in some incredible film performances I admire hugely: in A Place in the Sun, Executive Suite, The Night of the Hunter, The Diary of Anne Frank, Alfie, Lolita, Harper and, of course, The Poseidon Adventure. She generates sympathy for characters that, in real life, annoy me. She forces you to see the humanity and pathos behind people you might dismiss as whiney and socially-awkward and completely not self-aware in the real world.

So there I am, 12 or so, watching Shelly, and she's holding court - truly, she's the Queen and the audience are her subjects. And she's doing what older actors and directors do: complain about movies today. She's ranting on and on and she finishes one of her long-winded complaints with, "What people want is Shakespeare and instead, they get Star Wars." And when she said Star Wars, she flicked her hand dismissively.

I. Was. Pissed. That was it for Shelly Winters. If one of her movies came on, I turned it off. If she came on Johnny Carson, I walked out of the room. How DARE she dismiss a film that had taken all that I loved from Greek and Roman and Arthurian mythology and PUT IT IN SPACE?!? How DARE she dismiss a movie that had Princess Leia, a strong, sassy, smart character that was the LEADER of all the men in the movie? How DARE she dismiss a movie that had been my refuge from a dysfunctional family and a neighborhood full of bullies?

Spoiler alert: I ended up forgiving Shelly Winters.

First of all, it's not like all of Shelly's movies are high art - she was in a freakin' Chuck Norris movie, among others... I'm sure she conveniently forgot that, as most ar-teeeests do, during her rants against movies "today." And secondly, she's like so many people around me right now, running down what's popular in movies or in music while romanticizing movies and music from their day as somehow all SO much better and glorious - a mythology they have created about movies and music when they were younger that I find incredibly amusing.

Now, Martin Scorsese, he of the I'm-going-to-make-yet-ANOTHER-violent-movie-with-Al-Pacino-and/or-Robert De Niro, and Francis Ford Coppola, he of haven't-had-an-acclaimed-film-in-25-years fame, have said they don't like the Marvel movies.

So... I have to confess that I'm not a big fan of either of them, not as much as most other movie lovers. I find the hyper Western toxic masculinity of their movies - and their fans - terribly disturbing at times. And I think some of their films have NOT held up well over time and look really dated and unimaginative and utterly ego-driven now. Still, yes, they have been brilliant filmmakers and have fostered a lot of talent.

Their comments immediately reminded me of Shelly Winters way back when. Part of me wants to dismiss them, even get mad at them: how pathetic to see artists well past their prime lash out at what's popular now. Next up: Get off my lawn! I love the Marvel movies, I love how the filmmakers have brought out both the epic and the vulnerable and the short-comings in supposed "superheroes"  and how they have both paid tribute to the original comic book stories and legends while also making movies that offer some startling parallels to our world right now. I love how complex the stories are and how online debates break out about the moral choices the characters make.

But, honestly, mostly I'm just going to roll my eyes, stay off their lawn, and keep loving what I love. If you don't get it, that's fine - your loss. I think Dirty Dancing is one of the dumbest fucking movies ever made, but if it floats your boat, you just keep right on watchin' every time it's shown on TV... over and over and over...

Star Wars: The Last Jedi. My thoughts

Spoiler alert: spoilers abound. So many spoilers. Spoilers spoilers spoilers.

Don't read this if you haven't seen the movie, you dope. 

My thoughts:

To quote the person I saw it with: I didn't love it. I liked it. There were good moments. But I didn't love it. 

My overall problem with it: it didn't really further the story. The longest of all the Star Wars movies is something I could sum up in five sentences: 

• the Resistance is down to just a handful of people, 
• Kylo / Ben kills Snoke and tries to get Rey to team up with him, but she doesn't, 
• Rey's parents were nobodies, she has no familial connection with Skywalkers or Kenobis,
• Luke lets himself die and become one with the Force / Universe / whatever because he is just done with it all,
• there is no Last Jedi. There will always be Jedis because there will always be people who believe in the Force. 

That's it! No need to see the movie, because that's all you need to know to watch Episode IX in 2019. Those are the only things that forwarded the plot or the character development. 

Well, you need to know that those dice are totally canon. It's an obscure reference that only deep fans will get. 

Sure, there's some great action scenes, some beautiful scenery and screen compositions, and they don't overdo the Porgs, something I was quite worried about. And I teared up a few times regarding Carrie Fisher - her scenes are heart-breaking and weirdly, unintentionally, foreshadowing of her death. There are also a lot of jokes - too many, in fact.  

But two hours and 32 minutes - plus FOUR HOURS round trip on a train and bus with TOo many scary tweekers and I almost missed the bus back to Forest Grove and would have been stuck at the Hillsboro transit center for an hour, until after 1 a.m., if I had missed it - for this movie, a movie I could summarize in five bullet points?

We deserved so much more: 

• Who is Snoke? Where did he come from? How is he such a master of the Force? Why does he look like that? Why do all these people follow him?
• Where did the First Order come from? Why do people join them? The Imperial Forces were the government of the galaxy, and they seemed to evolve from the Old Republic's formal military, with a lot of support from the citizens of the galaxy. But where did these guys come from so quickly and suddenly? 
• Why is Rey such a master of the Force without any training at all?
• Where did the other Jedis go that mutinied with Kylo?
• What the hell was Captain Phasma's purpose EVER in these two films? Was she really necessary at all?
• You really can't think of more to do with C3P0 and R2D2?
• What the hell with the "Godspeed" comments? There has never been a "God" in the Star Wars films - you wish someone well by saying, "May the Force Be With You." But this time, we get at least two "Godspeed" comments? Okay, since you've introduced the concept of God after eight movies without such, we have to ask: Who is this God? Is it a He or a She? Is there just one? Do all the planets believe in the same one? What is this God's relationship with the Force?
• Really, the First Order ships can't move up just a little bit quicker so their cannon ammunitions can't hit tiny ships just out of reach?
• The tracking-through-Hyperspace thing: who came up with that? It seemed to come out of nowhere - Kylo? He thought of that? He's an engineering whiz? And, some nobody mechanic can figure it out as soon as she hears about it whereas everyone else has no idea?
• How come, when faced with an entire group of Imperial / First Order ships, there hasn't always been someone saying, "Hey, let me save everyone by doing a suicide mission and jumping to light speed right into one of the ships!"? There have always been plenty of people willing to go on fruitless suicide missions because something might work - by contrast, this strategy seems to be pretty damn foolproof! 

I couldn't wait to see The Force Awakens for a second time. Same with Rogue One. This? Yeah, I'm good with one viewing. 

The perils of personal blogging.

Blogging is mostly fun. Writing down my thoughts and ideas and opinions helps me remember a place or an experience far more than photos - but sharing them, rather than just putting them in a private journal, helps me connect with other travelers and various interesting people. I learn things I never would have otherwise, through their comments. And it seems selfish not to share the great places I see and experience - shouldn't others get to learn about these places as well? Likewise, I like sharing when things don't go so well, because I hope it helps someone avoid something I had the bad luck to have to deal with.  

I like reading other people's experiences, particularly about traveling. I like being enticed to visit somewhere I've never been, or to get ideas for my next time traveling somewhere. But it can be hard when I read a blog by someone about a place I love and find they had just the opposite experience. That said, I don't question that they had that experience, even if I think it was an exception, or was misinterpreted. That's their experience, honestly told. I only get angry only when they make a factual error that could so obviously could have been avoided with just a little more observation or research, or when they have an obvious agenda in their writing - I shall not like Mexico, from the moment I get on the plane to go there, and my blog will reflect that. Those people drive me batty.

I blog both professionally and personally. The blog you're reading now is personal. It's not a very widely-read blog, and that's by design - it's not something I link from professional posts, though it can be found if someone does lots of click-throughs, from social media status updates to photos and then, maybe, to here. I write for a very particular audience - my own friends and family. Some of them all but demanded I blog, and so I do. But it's the Internet, and other folks do find it and comment - just as I do regarding other people's blogs. That's fine.

Do I worry about offending? Sure. But I also know that no matter what I write, at least one person will disagree with it. In fact, I regularly offend people with my professional blog, much more than this one, often when writing about something I think is the most benign thing in the world. For instance, I've deeply offended people for saying that people often volunteer for reasons that have nothing to do with having a good heart - many primarily want skills and networking to get a paid job - and such alternative motivations have nothing to do with whether or not they are a "good" volunteer or not. Oh, the outrage!

I do have people that write me to disagree with what I've written about traveling in various places. I had one person write me about how unfair I'd been regarding this blog about sexual harassment in the field, how it showed that, obviously, I'm a huge racist, and even though I've had more than a dozen women write me to thank me, specifically, for this piece, that ONE guy still hurt very much with his criticism and accusations. I almost took it down because of that outraged guy - and then had to remind myself how helpful it's been to so many people, and how two women from a country I never mention in the article, but is the home country of the guy that made my life hell and inspired that blog, said they really appreciated the piece. But still… the criticism hurt and made me second guess.

It can seem flip to write a travel blog from a country where there is either war or extreme poverty or post-war strife or all of the above. Often, I'm in those countries for work - very serious work. Sometimes, I really am just a tourist in such a country - like Bosnia. What I'm trying to do in my blogging about those travels is to show you the very human side of being there - this is a real place, not just a list of statistics on the nightly news, not just photos of violence or poverty. People in these countries, laugh, sing, cry, eat, hate, enjoy, watch movies, belittle, compliment, offend, have favorite TV shows, inspire and live, just like anywhere, even amid the war or extreme poverty or post-war strife. Because - people. That's what they do. I want you to read these and think, well that particularly thing is just like Kentucky or California or Vermont or wherever. The standard of living may be jaw-dropping, the plight of women may be horrific, but ultimately, the people are people. You could be them, if circumstances and history and luck were a bit different. They could be you.

I'm in Ukraine. It's a country at war. People are being killed. Human rights are being violated. Homes and entire cities are being destroyed. National sovereignty is threatened. There are profound prejudices between different sections of the country that are fuel for people that want violence. While I may write about the fun I'm having, I never, ever forget any of that. My work day is consumed with that. My morning ritual is reading Reliefweb updates about Ukraine and social media by various aid agencies here, and then checking out the news links on Google about the country. Even when I'm not writing about that most of the time here on my personal blog, it's all very much on my mind and a part of my daily life. It's almost absurd to experience the incredibly beautiful, vibrant, now-very-peaceful city of Kyiv, a city that could not be in more contrast to the realities elsewhere in this country. But that's my reality.

I've posted a version of this disclaimer a few times on my blog over the years, but I've posted it twice in the last three weeks (and now three times), because I remember where I am, and just how strong feelings are here in Ukraine:

A reminder: this is a personal blog of personal reflections and opinions. It's not journalism. I'm making no effort whatsoever to be fair or balanced. My observations will not necessarily be someone else's - you may disagree with how I have observed and interpreted something. How I interpret what I see won't be how someone standing right next to me might see it. All I hope is that I am never reckless with comments, and that I come from a place of honesty and sincerity in my observations - but I make no claims here to being impartial or even kind here. It's all perspective. My perspective. Only mine.

Keep that in mind as you read any blog, not just my personal one. By all means, write me if I get a fact wrong - I will get facts wrong, even when I'm trying to be journalistic, which I'm not trying to be here. Because - people. That's what they do. And I'll correct any fact I get wrong. Comment on the blog with your disagreement - I'll approve the comment, so everyone can see it. That's only fair. It's a blog - that means it can become a conversation. And conversations, shared with everyone, can lead to a lot of new understandings. And that's my favorite thing about people - when they engage with each other in order to understand.