Forgiving Shelly Winters

I watched way, way too much TV when I was growing up. And one of the shows I watched way too much of was Donahue. Why a pre-teen girl would watch Donahue, who knows... his shows weren't salacious like day-time talk shows today - even Oprah at times went down the ratings-sweeps road that Donahue avoided (I'm still mad about your amplification of the anti-vaccine movement, Oprah...). I just thought the topics were always interesting.

I remember one Donahue episode in particular: his guest was Shelly Winters. Shelly Winters has put in some incredible film performances I admire hugely: in A Place in the Sun, Executive Suite, The Night of the Hunter, The Diary of Anne Frank, Alfie, Lolita, Harper and, of course, The Poseidon Adventure. She generates sympathy for characters that, in real life, annoy me. She forces you to see the humanity and pathos behind people you might dismiss as whiney and socially-awkward and completely not self-aware in the real world.

So there I am, 12 or so, watching Shelly, and she's holding court - truly, she's the Queen and the audience are her subjects. And she's doing what older actors and directors do: complain about movies today. She's ranting on and on and she finishes one of her long-winded complaints with, "What people want is Shakespeare and instead, they get Star Wars." And when she said Star Wars, she flicked her hand dismissively.

I. Was. Pissed. That was it for Shelly Winters. If one of her movies came on, I turned it off. If she came on Johnny Carson, I walked out of the room. How DARE she dismiss a film that had taken all that I loved from Greek and Roman and Arthurian mythology and PUT IT IN SPACE?!? How DARE she dismiss a movie that had Princess Leia, a strong, sassy, smart character that was the LEADER of all the men in the movie? How DARE she dismiss a movie that had been my refuge from a dysfunctional family and a neighborhood full of bullies?

Spoiler alert: I ended up forgiving Shelly Winters.

First of all, it's not like all of Shelly's movies are high art - she was in a freakin' Chuck Norris movie, among others... I'm sure she conveniently forgot that, as most ar-teeeests do, during her rants against movies "today." And secondly, she's like so many people around me right now, running down what's popular in movies or in music while romanticizing movies and music from their day as somehow all SO much better and glorious - a mythology they have created about movies and music when they were younger that I find incredibly amusing.

Now, Martin Scorsese, he of the I'm-going-to-make-yet-ANOTHER-violent-movie-with-Al-Pacino-and/or-Robert De Niro, and Francis Ford Coppola, he of haven't-had-an-acclaimed-film-in-25-years fame, have said they don't like the Marvel movies.

So... I have to confess that I'm not a big fan of either of them, not as much as most other movie lovers. I find the hyper Western toxic masculinity of their movies - and their fans - terribly disturbing at times. And I think some of their films have NOT held up well over time and look really dated and unimaginative and utterly ego-driven now. Still, yes, they have been brilliant filmmakers and have fostered a lot of talent.

Their comments immediately reminded me of Shelly Winters way back when. Part of me wants to dismiss them, even get mad at them: how pathetic to see artists well past their prime lash out at what's popular now. Next up: Get off my lawn! I love the Marvel movies, I love how the filmmakers have brought out both the epic and the vulnerable and the short-comings in supposed "superheroes"  and how they have both paid tribute to the original comic book stories and legends while also making movies that offer some startling parallels to our world right now. I love how complex the stories are and how online debates break out about the moral choices the characters make.

But, honestly, mostly I'm just going to roll my eyes, stay off their lawn, and keep loving what I love. If you don't get it, that's fine - your loss. I think Dirty Dancing is one of the dumbest fucking movies ever made, but if it floats your boat, you just keep right on watchin' every time it's shown on TV... over and over and over...

Star Wars: The Last Jedi. My thoughts

Spoiler alert: spoilers abound. So many spoilers. Spoilers spoilers spoilers.

Don't read this if you haven't seen the movie, you dope. 

My thoughts:

To quote the person I saw it with: I didn't love it. I liked it. There were good moments. But I didn't love it. 

My overall problem with it: it didn't really further the story. The longest of all the Star Wars movies is something I could sum up in five sentences: 

• the Resistance is down to just a handful of people, 
• Kylo / Ben kills Snoke and tries to get Rey to team up with him, but she doesn't, 
• Rey's parents were nobodies, she has no familial connection with Skywalkers or Kenobis,
• Luke lets himself die and become one with the Force / Universe / whatever because he is just done with it all,
• there is no Last Jedi. There will always be Jedis because there will always be people who believe in the Force. 

That's it! No need to see the movie, because that's all you need to know to watch Episode IX in 2019. Those are the only things that forwarded the plot or the character development. 

Well, you need to know that those dice are totally canon. It's an obscure reference that only deep fans will get. 

Sure, there's some great action scenes, some beautiful scenery and screen compositions, and they don't overdo the Porgs, something I was quite worried about. And I teared up a few times regarding Carrie Fisher - her scenes are heart-breaking and weirdly, unintentionally, foreshadowing of her death. There are also a lot of jokes - too many, in fact.  

But two hours and 32 minutes - plus FOUR HOURS round trip on a train and bus with TOo many scary tweekers and I almost missed the bus back to Forest Grove and would have been stuck at the Hillsboro transit center for an hour, until after 1 a.m., if I had missed it - for this movie, a movie I could summarize in five bullet points?

We deserved so much more: 

• Who is Snoke? Where did he come from? How is he such a master of the Force? Why does he look like that? Why do all these people follow him?
• Where did the First Order come from? Why do people join them? The Imperial Forces were the government of the galaxy, and they seemed to evolve from the Old Republic's formal military, with a lot of support from the citizens of the galaxy. But where did these guys come from so quickly and suddenly? 
• Why is Rey such a master of the Force without any training at all?
• Where did the other Jedis go that mutinied with Kylo?
• What the hell was Captain Phasma's purpose EVER in these two films? Was she really necessary at all?
• You really can't think of more to do with C3P0 and R2D2?
• What the hell with the "Godspeed" comments? There has never been a "God" in the Star Wars films - you wish someone well by saying, "May the Force Be With You." But this time, we get at least two "Godspeed" comments? Okay, since you've introduced the concept of God after eight movies without such, we have to ask: Who is this God? Is it a He or a She? Is there just one? Do all the planets believe in the same one? What is this God's relationship with the Force?
• Really, the First Order ships can't move up just a little bit quicker so their cannon ammunitions can't hit tiny ships just out of reach?
• The tracking-through-Hyperspace thing: who came up with that? It seemed to come out of nowhere - Kylo? He thought of that? He's an engineering whiz? And, some nobody mechanic can figure it out as soon as she hears about it whereas everyone else has no idea?
• How come, when faced with an entire group of Imperial / First Order ships, there hasn't always been someone saying, "Hey, let me save everyone by doing a suicide mission and jumping to light speed right into one of the ships!"? There have always been plenty of people willing to go on fruitless suicide missions because something might work - by contrast, this strategy seems to be pretty damn foolproof! 

I couldn't wait to see The Force Awakens for a second time. Same with Rogue One. This? Yeah, I'm good with one viewing. 

Memory: The Art of Star Wars exhibit, Dec. 27, 1994-March 12, 1995, San Francisco

In honor of The Force Awakens, which I've already reviewed:

At left is my poster from The Art of Star Wars, an exhibit of props and costumes from the original trilogy, shown at the Center for the Arts in Yerba Buena Gardens in San Francisco, California December 27, 1994 through March 12, 1995. At the time, it was the largest display of Star Wars props, costumes and masks ever exhibited to the public. The unexpected HUGE success of this exhibit, and the unexpected WILD success of the original trilogy re-releases in the 90s before the prequels came out, lead to the creation of the much better known, much slicker, and smaller Star Wars exhibit tour in 2000-2002 (which I also saw) that dumped you at the end into a gift shop packed with Star Wars-related merchandise.

The poster at left is now in my home office (which has purple walls, OF COURSE). I went to this original San Francisco exhibit on my 29th birthday in January and wrote a lovely, emotional review of the show on the America Online Star Wars group - sadly, I didn't save that review.

But here's what I remember:

A full-sized Yoda puppet stood by the entrance, in a glass case, but the light showing it didn't stay on but for a few seconds. It was the same for the Darth Vader costume. The sign said something about doing that because you only got a glimpse of them in the movies, never a long look, and they wanted a similar experience in the exhibit - indeed, viewing Vader's costume up close made it look cheaply made, definitely not intended for long closeups on screen. Then came the ships. Of course I lost my mind seeing the Millennium Falcon model up close, as well as the little toy ship Luke is playing with in "Star Wars" when he says "It just isn't fair..." - that was actually a ship model for the movie, a version of which was used as the shuttle in ROTJ. I seem to recall the escape pod from Star Wars was pretty much just a bucket. All of the props, up close, under that direct light, didn't look like anything special - and I kind of loved that, knowing that these simply made things look oh so magical in the movies. I remember one of the matte paintings on display from ROTJ, I think, had a storm trooper that had a white smiley face instead of a proper helmet - off to the side, would never have made it on screen. And I cried when I came into the hall with all the costumes - just burst into tears and had to sit down.

Here is an awesome fan-made video of the exhibit.

Here is footage of the exhibit that's almost an hour-long.

Here's a blog by a guy who was actually at the opening when he was a kid.

There's an archive of exhibit photos by a fan, and his impressions, here.

Here's another fan's archive.

Another Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review & Fan Girl Meltdown

BECAUSE WE JUST DON'T HAVE ENOUGH COMMENTARY ON STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS!!!

Some warnings:

1. This blogged review is packed with spoilers. Please, please don't read it if you haven't seen the movie. Even if you don't intend to see the movie, don't read, because you'll say something later to someone who hasn't seen it and you will FREAKIN' SPOIL THE MOVIE. And that's just total dark side stuff right there.
2. I am a HUGE Star Wars fan. HUGE. The original trilogies were MY LIFE from the time I saw A New Hope until Return of the Jedi came out. I would recite the first two movies on family car trips, under my breath, as scenery rolled by. I skipped the last day of high school to see the first showing of Return of the Jedi in Evansville, Indiana - the nearest theatre showing it to my hometown of Henderson, Kentucky. I would watch A New Hope over and over and over when it came on HBO, and my mother would beg me, no, not again, Jayne, please, not again... I had the albums from all three movies - yes, I had the soundtracks, but I also had the albums where clips from the movie were used to tell the entire stories of each movie on one LP each. When I interviewed for a job in 1997, I said, "Oh, one thing: I'll have to have the day off when tickets for the new Star Wars movie go on sale, and another day off when the movie premieres. That will be in 1999, and I'm not sure of the exact date yet, but it's not negotiable - I have to have those days off." So sad that I hated the prequels with every fiber of my being. But I still have a life-sized, cardboard Han Solo that lurks behind me during conference calls from my home office, I still have two Star Wars-related posters framed and up in my home (it's art, dammit!), and there's a Han Solo tree ornament right beneath my Flying Spaghetti Monster tree topper. Always. 

So, knowing those two points, here are my reviews of Star Wars: The Force Awakens:

Quick review: far better than the prequels, better than Return of the Jedi, but still not as good as A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back - but nothing can be, so, well done!

Extended reviews: I went to see the movie in Portland with one of my best friends from high school who just happens to be living in the same part of the world as me all these years later, and his lovely family. I just need to give that shout out. I had expected to see the movie all by myself - what a treat to see it with family.

Also, I burst into tears as soon as "A long time ago.... " came on the screen. But I did that for the first prequels too, so.... I was still worried.

The film: I thought it was terrific. Not absolutely great, but very good - the prequels aren’t even close to the league this film is in. It was so nice to have the FUN back in a Star Wars movie! I’m so glad Lucas was NOT involved.

I’m really intrigued by how deliberately derivative the plot is - my theory as to why that is is that JJ and Kasdan are going to try to resolve a bunch of stuff Lucas did NOT in Episodes IV - VI, like Yoda saying to Luke, “If you leave now, help them you could; but you would destroy all for which they have fought, and suffered.” There's a method to this derivative madness, and I'm going with it.

LOVED Daisy Ridley as Rey and John Boyega as Finn - perfectly cast - and loved those two characters oh so very much. I can’t wait to watch them through two more movies, and I don't just mean for a romance! I'm so intrigued by the character of Finn. He's entirely original, and very much needed in this universe: a storm trooper who realizes what he's being asked to do and decides, um, NO. A true rebel. And no special powers, just sensibility and heart. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that. A friend said this, and it's stuck with me: "I'm so ready to see Rey's backstory and, although I know Finn is supposed to be infatuated with her, I'm kind of on the fence about her having any type of love story. I hope she is the Luke of this trilogy rather than the Leia." I so get that.

I was stunned that Han Solo was a primary character and in much of the movie - I thought he’d be just a cameo. Yes, even though he's been marketed front and center, I still thought he'd have maybe 15 minutes in the film.

Way to go, Carrie Fisher - you are still Leia. I was skeptical you could do it. I so stand corrected. You aren't a Princess - you are a Goddess.

I’m confused by Maz Kanata - I’ll be interested to hear how this female Yoda came to be with a magical basement in her bar. That whole thing felt out of nowhere, so I hope to get some backstory in the next film.

Only one thing I couldn’t quite get my head around: when Kylo Ren took his helmet off, I had to stop myself from saying out loud, “What in the hell is Severus Snape doing in this movie?!?” I don't think he looked like the son of Han and Leia. He looked like the child I would have with Alan Rickman. Oh, wait, I've said too much... Rey, on the other hand - wow, if she isn't their child, I'll be stunned.

And, my joke as the credits rolled: My god, how did Mark Hamill remember all his lines?!? Seriously: I am on the edge of my seat to see him in the next film!!! The ending of this movie was EPIC AND PERFECT!!!! Loved hearing a "Noooo!" from behind me when the credits started.

This movie was completely free of midichlorians, and for that, I think we're all thankful.

But there is a DARK SIDE to the whole showing: someone spoiled the big moment in the movie before I saw it. I had vowed to stay off of Facebook as of Thursday morning and not go on it until after I saw the film on Friday, and I turned off all interviews about and previews of the movie on TV in an effort to remain spoiler free. I hate spoilers. I hate not getting to experience surprises in a film. But on Wednesday, some asshole - probably a guy - wrote this comment on a Facebook page story that had nothing to do whatsoever with Star Wars - like, something on the National Geographic page or something about Yellowstone or whatever: "Han Solo is killed by his own son." I read the sentence before I realized what it was. So someone just went around to random Facebook pages that had nothing to do with Star Wars and wrote that just to ruin people's experience. WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT?! What kind of person gets off on just robbing people of an experience? A psychopath. The things I hope happen to you cannot be written on this blog for fear of being arrested for making a threat.

So, other than THAT total dick move...

I had a wonderful experience watching the movie. The FUN of Star Wars is BACK!!

Postscript: All of the things I was worried about on my way to the theater in Portland to see Star Wars yesterday: My bus breaking down, that while on the train we could come to standing water on the tracks and, therefore, we couldn't proceed, that a homeless person in Portland would pee on me (always worried about that), that the second bus I took after the train would break down, that even MORE people would spoil MORE plot surprises before I got to the movie, that Gregg would announce he and his family had already seen the movie at a special screening and they'd just drop me off at the theater on my own, that my online ticket would be rejected at the box office, that projection break down, that there would be a power outage, and that there would, at some point, be mention of midichlorians. ‪#‎firstworldfears‬