The Star Wars

Here I am with one of my best friends from high school back in Kentucky at Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Friday night in Portland, Oregon. It's just a fluke that we've ended up living so near each other after all these years. It's been wonderful to see every Star Wars movie released in the last four years with him and his family.

I was 12 when I saw the first Star Wars movie. I'm going to be 54 next month. I've said it before, I'll say it again: the original trilogy of Star Wars saved my life, got me through a horrific period of my life, and fueled my soul to pursue all sorts of dreams. It sat inside me and I retreated to it whenever things got too bad, too horrible. It kept me away from all sorts of bad influences that a lot of people around me got caught up in - boredom and discouragement are at the heart of so many bad choices by kids, and because of Star Wars and all it inspired, I was kept away from boredom and I could navigate discouragement. I will forever be grateful to anyone and everyone who made these movies.

I don't think there will ever be something cinematically like Star Wars again, something that makes millions of people collectively gasp and delight and repeat its dialogue over and over and over, that years later parents later lovingly introduce to their children and they enjoy it together, that's characters feel like our family - at least the family we wanted.

Since everyone else is doing this on Twitter, I'm going to do it too, on Twitter and here: Star Wars theatrical releases ranked on how I feel about them, from most-loved to absolutely loathe:

LOVE SO SO MUCH:
A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back (tied for most awesome)
The Force Awakens and Rogue One (tied)

LIKE:
The Rise of Skywalker
Return of the Jedi and Solo
The Last Jedi (actually, while it had its moments, more meh)

CRAP:
The Phantom Menace 
Revenge of the Sith and Attack of the Clones (tied for crappiest)

I can't believe I didn't review Rogue One! I loved it so much! But I didn't...

And now, here there be spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker. Please don't read anymore if you haven't seen the latest film. Go to the movie fresh and unbiased, make up your OWN mind.

What did I think of The Rise of Skywalker? Honestly, I'm mostly just SO glad it got made. When Carrie Fisher died, I thought it might not get made at all, or would have to be re-written so drastically that it could never be any good. Come on, you all know how it was SUPPOSED to end: with Leia Organa redeeming her son, Ben Solo - bringing him back from the Dark Side. Everything was pointing to that. And the scenes between Leia and Kylo/Ben would have been glorious and heart-wrenching. And I would have been a puddle on the ground in the theater as a result. I pretty much was a puddle when Han showed up in this film- both because I was thrilled to see him and because I knew it was supposed to be Leia.

With that huge challenge of Carrie Fisher gone, I think the filmmakers did a good job of ending not only this trilogy, but the entire Skywalker saga. It's not a great film, but it's satisfying, and better than The Last Jedi (and it really needed to be better than that). I really liked the clever banter between characters - that was SO needed and so missing in The Last Jedi and entirely from the prequels. Snappy dialogue is an essential part of what makes the best of this series the best - if a Star Wars movie is not quotable, it had FAILED. I want to love the characters, and I can't do that unless they say things that establish chemistry between them and make me want to fall in love with them. I do love the new good-guy three and their interactions with each other: Rey, Poe and Finn. I thought Ben/Kylo was a terrific character and the exploration of the dark side via his journey was very well executed in all three of these last films - it's an exploration that flopped miserably in the prequels.

It must have felt like an overwhelming challenge to take Leia's scenes and dialogue unused in the other films and create entire scenes around them to make her appear to be there and a part of the story in The Rise of Skywalker. While I think the CGI was obvious, it was done with such love and care, I didn't mind. Carrie Fisher deserved to be in this film.

My favorite part of the film? THE MUSIC. Bringing back the music from A New Hope, Empire and Return of the Jedi was brilliant and perfect and conveyed hugely important plot points. Absolutely brilliant.

Only a few things were displeasing to me, if anyone cares:

• Rose. She was barely in this. She was really the only person I was intrigued by in The Last Jedi, except for Rey, Kylo, Luke and Leia, and I wanted to see her a part of the core group - or at least play a super key role. She was an afterthought in this. That's shameful.
• The kiss between Rey and Kylo. What. The. Hell?!? Unnecessary. Distracting. Weird. And please note: I am staunchly pro-kissing.
• C3P0's dialogue. Just like in Return of the Jedi, he says things that he should NEVER say. 
• The Sith. If you have only watched the theatrical releases, you don't know who they are, where they came from nor what they do. 
• All those Final Order ships. Who in the hell built all those? Are we really so jaded that one damn big star destroyer no longer impresses us?
• Destroying planets willy nilly. It was my only criticism of The Force Awakens as well - Empires don't destroy resources like that. Leaders, yes, certain groups of people, sure, but not minerals, fuel, irreplaceable labor, places to station their troops, places to build vacation homes, etc. The big thread in Star Wars movies cannot always be lots of planet destruction. 
• The new droid. I mean, whatever. The first characters seen in the original Star Wars were R2D2 and C3P0. They were essential characters in the first two movies. I'm sorry that they became so superfluous to the stories. 

But, again, overall, I found this last movie satisfying. And, in fact, I'm planning on seeing it again.

I hear that the Skywalker saga is over, but other Star Wars movies, that don't continue this particular story, will be produced. Further adventures of Poe, Finn and Rey? Please only do that if it will be AWESOME. I hear there will be a prequel to Rogue One with Cassian Andor and I am ABSOLUTELY READY FOR IT.

I don't know if I'll watch in The Mandalorian - quite honestly, I don't have the money to invest in all these pay channels. I also never watched the Clone Wars TV show, though I heard great things about it - I think I'm just too bitter about the prequels crap to try to care about that period of the Star Wars universe.

For me, Star Wars, the real Star Wars is... well, it's over.

I'll end with this - and I made myself cry while I wrote it:

We - humans - need adventure stories. We need stories of people seeking some important thing and the battle between good and evil and the good guys ultimately being stronger and more clever and winning, we need stories of a few brave, inspirational fighters somehow winning, we need stories of someone weaker outwitting someone more powerful, and we need to see romantic, victorious battles - but we need more than even all that. At least I do. But we also need stories about the possibility of redemption of bad people. We need to see very imperfect people work to be a part of the fight for what's right, and stumble along the way as they try to do what's right, and sometimes be not-so-good guys and have to come back from that. We need stories of different people answering the call and working together to fight against evil - only succeeding, ultimately, because they all come together and keep fighting despite their flaws. We need to see that the sacrifice of home, families, comfort and lives isn't, ultimately, in vain. That's what hope really is. And that's what Star Wars, in the end, gives us. At least, it's what it's given me. I honestly never realized any of this until the end of The Rise of Skywalker. I never realized what really, truly made it different - not better, just different - than Star Trek or Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter (I love those too, BTW).

May the Force Be With You.

Discovering Kipling

While he was in the US Air Force back in the late 1950s, my dad bought a set of books published by Blacks Reader Service Company. You've seen them for sale at garage sales: more than 20 books, usually with red covers, and each volume is by a dead white guy whose works are now in the public domain. Shakespeare. Ibsen. Longfellow. Poe. He bought them for $10 from another Air Force guy. He never read any of them. He just thought it was a good deal and that maybe he would have kids someday that wanted to read them.

I. Am. That. Kid.

Well, I'm almost 54, not really a kid... but I loaded up these books when I moved out of the house decades ago and have schlepped them all over the US every time I've moved. But I had read only the Shakespeare volume before I was 30, until Buster used it as a chew toy. I didn't take the set to Germany. But once I got back to the USA 10 years ago, I pulled them out of storage and I've read various ones over the years since. Stefan has too: when he found out one of his favorite writers, Jules Verne, was influenced by The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket by Edgar Allen Poe, he wanted to read it and, ta da, there it was in the Poe volume in my set.

Since about 2002, I have tried to read at least a few books a year that are so well-known, have been made into movies so many times or are referenced so frequently, that no one reads them anymore, because we all think we know them, that they hold no interesting or unique insights, that they are just like pop culture has told us they are. Often, they are books that aren't considered great literature, but, wow, some of them have been FANTASTIC. Like Tarzan.

The other day, The Man Who Would Be King was on TCM. I freakin' love that movie. Sean Connery and Michael Caine are AMAZING together. There should have been a prequel! I am so ready to write Danny and Peachy prequel fanfiction... and I wondered, do I have this story in my Blacks Reader Service Kipling volume? Welp, yes, there it was. So, I read it. And it was terrific. And I kept reading other stories. And... yeah, I've really enjoyed Kipling, more than I ever dreamed. Departmental Ditties and Other Verses is, at times, hysterically funny. I'm a veteran of administration in foreign lands, including Afghanistan, and when it comes to silly bureaucracy, not much has changed since Kipling's time. That he can make me laugh about paperwork 100 years later is a testament to his incredible wit. His ghost stories are chilling. The Finest Story in the World is so incredibly imaginative - took turns I was not at all expecting. For any story, the descriptions of scenes, even just going down a road or sitting in a room, are so rich - you see the surroundings, you hear them, you smell them. His understanding of the complicated nature of boredom, or jealousy, is expressed so beautifully in his writing - often making me uncomfortable in how close-to-home it hits. And the sweeping, adventurous, reckless nature of some of his characters... I admit it, I've missed those lately. No wonder I'm so happy about a new Star Wars movie coming out...

There's not much quotable, though I did love this, from My Own True Ghost Story:

It was just the sort of dinner and evening to make a man think of every single one of his past sins, and of all the others that he intended to commit if he lived.

Sleep, for several hundred reasons, was not easy. The lap in the bathroom threw the most absurd shadows into the room, and the wind was beginning to talk nonsense. 

Indeed, Kipling was a racist, expressed mostly through his colonialists views, but I'm surprised no one ever mentions the far, far more common sexism - he did not at all think much of women. Neither did most men of this time (and now?). Why are we outraged about racism from authors 100 years ago but we gloss over the sexism as, "Oh, well, you know, that's how it was then."? Why is sexism interpreted as less painful than racism? And he glorifies war and patriotism, two things that just aren't my thing at all. But it is fascinating to read such devotion to such.

I'm one of those people that can cringe at this, and more, and, usually, still acknowledge the greatness of a work. Like enjoying the Ride of the Valkyrie while also knowing (and hating) Wagner's racism and that Hitler dug both the music and the artist's political views. Like hating war but adoring the movie The Dirty Dozen.

So, for all of you horrified I'm delighting in a dead white male writer... don't worry, I'll go back to more diverse voices soon, I promise.

My favorite Kipling piece that I've read so far? "My Rival," one of his only stories - a poem, in fact - devoted entirely to women and that isn't painfully sexist. It is so delightful, I've read it probably half a dozen times already. I may memorize it.

My Rival

I GO to concert, party, ball—
What profit is in these?
I sit alone against the wall
And strive to look at ease.
The incense that is mine by right     
They burn before Her shrine;
And that’s because I’m seventeen
And she is forty-nine.

I cannot check my girlish blush,
My colour comes and goes.       
I redden to my finger-tips,
And sometimes to my nose.
But She is white where white should be,
And red where red should shine.
The blush that flies at seventeen       
Is fixed at forty-nine.

I wish I had her constant cheek:
I wish that I could sing
All sorts of funny little songs,
Not quite the proper thing.       
I’m very gauche and very shy,
Her jokes aren’t in my line;
And, worst of all, I’m seventeen
While She is forty-nine.

The young men come, the young men go,       
Each pink and white and neat,
She’s older than their mothers, but
They grovel at Her feet.
They walk beside Her ’rickshaw-wheels—
None ever walk by mine;       
And that’s because I’m seventeen
And She is forty-nine.

She rides with half a dozen men
(She calls them “boys” and “mashes”),
I trot along the Mall alone;       
My prettiest frocks and sashes
Don’t help to fill my programme-card,
And vainly I repine
From ten to two A.M. Ah me!
Would I were forty-nine.       


She calls me “darling,” “pet,” and “dear,”
And “sweet retiring maid.”
I’m always at the back, I know—
She puts me in the shade.
She introduces me to men—       
“Cast” lovers, I opine;
For sixty takes to seventeen,
Nineteen to forty-nine.

But even She must older grow
And end Her dancing days,       
She can’t go on for ever so
At concerts, balls, and plays.
One ray of priceless hope I see
Before my footsteps shine;
Just think, that She’ll be eighty-one       
When I am forty-nine!

My endorsement for the Democratic nomination

I wish that, in the USA, we had just four primary voting days, and the first one started on February 1, and the four primaries were all over by the end of May. And then I wish the Presidential campaign between the parties went from just June 1 to election day in November. Wouldn't that be nice?

But that's not how it is, and with more than 300 days until the November 2020 election, without even one primary happening yet, the race for the Presidency is already well underway, some of candidates I really liked have dropped out, and if you don't express your opinion NOW, if you don't donate to your candidate(s) NOW, that candidate, or those candidates, may not even be around for the first primary.

I want to make it clear that I am very likely going to vote for whomever the Democrats nominate. I hate to say that, because I know it empowers center-right candidates. But without ranked voting - something we should have in both primaries and the Presidential election - we are very likely going to end up with a candidate I feel tepid about. Yes, I want my precious, powerful vote to go for someone I believe will not just be able to be competent - I want to vote for someone who will be a GREAT President, who will be the President I think our country so desperately needs now. 

But almost any of the candidates will be better than the horror show currently in the White House, and I don't have the privilege to not vote at all. I am still furious with every person who voted for President Obama and then didn't vote at all in 2016 - YOU are why this current Presidency has happened, more than anything else, more than votes for third party candidates, more than write-ins. And I will be furious at any person who does not vote at all in 2020.

For all my complaints about Hillary Clinton - her coziness with Goldman Sachs, her many fundraising events only for huge donors and closed to all media, her oh-so-late support for things like marriage equality, her praise of Nancy Reagan's AIDS work (I still can't believe she did that), and on and on - I voted for her. And she deserves an extraordinary amount of praise for winning the majority votes of the American people, and if we were a real democracy, she would President now, per getting a majority of votes - and it would be well-earned. I do not regret any of my criticisms, but I do regret not being clear that I was voting for her and that I felt, absolutely, she was probably the most qualified candidate to ever run for office.

(And my jaw drops every time one of my friends that was SO passionate about Hillary Clinton and so angry at my criticisms are now using some of those same criticisms against various Presidential candidates they don't like.)

Okay, with all that said, who am I supporting in the 2020 Democratic Primary? Elizabeth Warren.

I listened to all of the candidates - and I will continue to - and I read and read and read - and will continue to do so. She wasn't a lock from the get-go - I was staunchly, firmly undecided for most of the summer, and even when I started to lean, I had a top three, not just one. But the more I read, the more clear it has become: Elizabeth Warren has the best combination of experience and ideas and heart. Yes, heart - we need heart. We absolutely will be a better country with Elizabeth Warren as President. She is the capable, knowledgeable, visionary, experienced, compassionate leader the USA needs right now. And she's even changed my mind on a lot of things - like the US involvement in Afghanistan. The bombshell Washington Post article yesterday pretty much-confirmed everything she's said all along. I also believe she will evolve - I believe she listens, and facts sway her. We need someone in the office who will listen and who will be willing to say, "I made a mistake - and here's how I'm going to address that."

What about the other candidates? Here they are, in order of my preference:

If he's nominated, I will vote for Julián Castro. I think his track record, including as former U.S. secretary of housing and urban development and as mayor of a big USA city, San Antonio, plus his policy positions, make him an outstanding candidate. He would be my number one candidate were it not for Elizabeth Warren. I think he brings that perfect balance of understanding a range of American experiences and understanding foreign policy. I not only think he's well-qualified and has the right policies - I also would love to see a person of Latino heritage in the top office of our nation.

If she's nominated, I will vote for Amy Klobuchar. I wish she was more to the left, I disagree with her on a lot of policies, but she's capable, she's knowledgable, she's highly-experienced, and I think that, ultimately, we're on the same side. She would make me both proud and comfortable as President - even when I disagreed with her. And I fully admit it: I want a woman President, and that gives her an edge over others.

If he's nominated, I will vote for Cory Booker. I find his approach to public schools utterly distasteful and I worry that, like others, he'll cater more to people on the center-right than people like me. But I also think he might really surprise me as President - in a good way. I would be proud to see him representing the USA, domestically and abroad. He's qualified for the office and I think he would work hard to repair the damage the current President has done, both domestically and abroad. He would make me both proud and comfortable as President - even when I disagreed with him.

If he's nominated, I will vote for Joe Biden. I prefer most of the other candidates to him. Like Hillary Clinton, he's WAY too cozy with billionaires and won't do anything regarding pushing for drastically-increased taxation against billionaires. He does not at all comprehend at how much people in this country are struggling to get health care access - he just wants to cater to people who want to "keep" their doctors and offers no real solutions for others. I feel that his mindset about how to behave with women is out-of-step with modern times (but he hasn't bragged about sexual assault, the way the current President has, nor has he paid any porn stars, so, that's a plus). But, yeah, I'll vote for him - he's perfectly qualified, his support and guidance for President Obama was sincere and valuable, and his qualifications are almost overwhelming.

If he's nominated, I will vote for Bernie Sanders. I know it's a shock that he's not higher, given how I preferred him over Hillary Clinton in 2014. I stand by that 2016 support and believe people like me, in supporting Sanders, pulled Clinton to he left - something that gave her the majority of votes in the end. My problem with Bernie is his hires: staff members with very questionable past behavior online, the allegations of sexual harassment that didn't get taken as seriously as it should, etc. Plus, he needs to be so much stronger in speaking out about people - mostly men - who harass people - mostly women - online in his name. And his support for Tulsi Gabbard is really disturbing. But I also think he could do what is required as President, that he has the qualifications, and I still really like his policy ideas.

If he's nominated, I will vote for Pete Buttigieg. His lack of experience really worries me, his Hillary-like missteps, like when he smugly refused to say if he would allow the press into his fundraising events, his slights against policies like universal health care coverage as being to radical - it's all very, very troubling. I think he really, really needs to mature as a leader, not just as a candidate. I think in eight years, with some service at the state or national level, he'll be a much better candidate or leader, and I might even feel way, way more strongly about him then.

If he's nominated, I will vote for Andrew Yang. His profound lack of experience in any government office is deeply disturbing - and we see the consequences of that in the current President, among other things. Like Pete, in eight years, with some service at the state or national level, he'll be a much better candidate or leader, and I might even feel more strongly about him then.

If he's nominated, I will vote for Michael Bloomberg. Like Biden, he also won't do anything regarding pushing for drastically-increased taxation against billionaires. He also does not at all comprehend at how much people in this country are struggling to get health care access. I think he'll spend most of his time catering to people who are center-right, ignoring issues that are affecting poverty and the environment in this country. I think he'll say anything to get elected - and then do anything to please the wealthiest people in this country (people like himself). Big business is going to LOVE this guy. Anyone who criticized Kamala Harris for her background in law enforcement needs to be SCREAMING about this guy. But I do believe he can do the job as President.

I will not vote for Tulsi Gabbard - she's a Russian asset, just like the current President.

I will not vote for Tom Steyer - his stance on term limits alone (I do NOT support them) is enough to ever make me vote for him - his lack of ever holding an office is also a deal-breaker.

I am not even going to say anti-vaxxer, anti-science person's name.

If I haven't named anyone else, it's because I have no idea who in the hell they are.

And I am going to keep reading the candidates' own words, keep watching them when they speak and keep trying to be informed about their positions and not let anyone make up my mind for me. I remain committed to checking out any criticism I hear or read online, even those criticisms I agree with, before jumping on board with them. I will not post anything that I cannot verify does NOT come from an established organization I know and support (not just one with a name that sorta sounds like something I might have heard of before).

And, no, I'm not going to stop offering commentary. I'm not going to stop speaking out. I've been so beaten down since November 2016, mostly by people who vote Democrat, who aren't affected personally and professionally by what Donald Trump is doing and, therefore, would just like to pretend it's not happening. Or men who really don't want to pay attention to what state legislatures are doing regarding women and children. Or people who control a council or community group and really don't like my questions. I've withdrawn from so much. But I'm not withdrawing from this.

Please register to vote. Please make sure you are registered to vote if you haven't voted since 2016. Please register friends, family and neighbors to vote. Please vote.