What a roller coaster.
Tuesday, I went to bed as despondent as I was four years ago, so depressed I couldn't cry. Wondering when, not if, my family would handle deportation orders. Wondering how quickly my friends' marriages would be declared null and void, how quickly friends would be fired for being gay or a different religion or just some other thing that had nothing to do with their job performance. Wondering how I would protect myself from COVID-19. Wondering how we were going to survive, knowing that four more years of this would be far, far worse than the last four years. At a loss for any productive thought. Here's my post to Facebook that night:
I feel as bad as I did in November 2016. Humans are horrible. You are hateful, evil crap. It's time for a meteor to hit this planet - WHAM - so it can start over. As I said after almost getting run off the road by methed-out truckers as I rode the Alaska Highway in British Columbia: FUCK ALL YA'LL.
Wednesday, I woke up to numbers I wasn't expecting. But I should have. Whereas pollster got it wrong AGAIN, the press said this over and over: what the results are at the end of Tuesday night, when in-person voting totals are in, will not be the results when vote-by-mail results are in over the course of the next two or three days. The press repeatedly said that. We didn't listen.
But even then, I wasn't ready to believe. I had very cautious hope when I went to bed Wednesday night. Thursday, I was just in a holding pattern. Friday, even though no delegate numbers had changed, the voting totals were clear. And I knew it: Trump lost.
And here we are on Saturday. So. Much. Joy. We walked our dog and I danced for the postman and with three other neighbors during the course of that walk. I don't feel like everything is fine now, but I have hope. I know we'll need to hold the White House through three Presidents to undo all this crap. But I have hope. I know that there is an enormous amount to do now to undo this horror show - knowing that some things can't be undone, like the trauma of children separated from parents, like those who have died or been permanently disabled from COVID-19, like the restaurants, clubs, bars, arts groups and other businesses that have closed for good. Like the people murdered by police.
Of course, now I'm reading right-wingers and middle-of-the-road Democrats talking about compromise, talking about not celebrating "too much," talking about "forgiveness."
No.
I'm not at all interested in punishing Republican voters but I AM interested in prosecuting those who broke the law. I want those who have broken the law in this administration to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. It's time for the country to see actions DO have consequences and that, as President, you are NOT "King." If there are no prosecutions, there is no rule of law, period. If there are no prosecutions, this WILL happen again.
And I want a full-throttle agenda: on health care, on restoring the protections of public lands, on restoring EPA rules, on restoring voting rights, on restoring US State Department funds and programs, on restoring protections for programs like Voice of America and AmeriCorps, on restoring DACA, on establishing a realistic path to legal residency, on addressing the pandemic, on free community college and affordable state universities, and, ALWAYS, on access to abortion. No compromise. None.
I get it, Republican voters are going to have such a hard time: they are going to get more affordable health care. They are going to have cleaner water. They are going to see billionaires pay a fairer share of taxes and the ballooning federal deficit under Trump get reduced. They are going to have family members who are NOT going to die because of the global pandemic. They are going to have more welcoming markets abroad for the things their employers grow or make. They are still going to get to go to churches that prohibit gay marriage. They will still get to avoid black, Latino and Asian neighborhoods and businesses. They get to still buy and drive gas-guzzling pedestrian-killing trucks. They will still get to quietly take their wives, sisters, daughters and mistresses to clinics for abortion services that they publicly protest about. They still get to discourage their children and grandchildren from going to college. They still get to disparage people who read books, love the arts, study philosophy, speak languages other than English and travel to other countries. They will still get to believe stupid crap like pedophile parties in non-existent pizza restaurant basements. They will still get to go to rallies by Trump if he still wants to have them. And they'll get to keep all the guns they have now and buy even more, at least of certain kinds.
That last paragraph was dripping with sarcasm, in case you didn't get it. In other words - ya'll Republicans get to benefit from all that is coming AND still be full of hate and bigotry and have guns.
I wonder when you will understand that nothing changes for a white man if he hears people speaking Spanish in line at WalMart. Nothing. It doesn't make English somehow not matter anymore. There has never been a time in the history of this land we now call the USA when humans weren't speaking a myriad of languages - nothing has changed, not really.
I wonder when you will realize that nothing changes for you if woman who is raped has access to abortion services - unless you are that woman. If you are against abortion, you never, ever have to have one, even if terminating a pregnancy would save your life.
I wonder when you will realize that nothing changes for you at all if a mosque gets built in your county. You don't ever have to go. If you don't want to hear the call to prayer, push for an ordinance that would prevent such - but know that it will also apply to church bells and drums (I live across the street from a new Pentecostal Church - I DREAM of such an ordinance...).
I wonder when you will realize that nothing changes for you at all if your local grocery store starts selling tamales or hummus. Unless you like tamales or hummus - then you are going to be SO HAPPY.
I wonder when white people will realize that nothing changes for you if black people get treated by the police and courts the same way white people do.
I wonder when you will realize that nothing changes for straight people, even Christians, if gay people get married. You get to stay married to whomever you are married to. You can be disgusted by anyone's marriage. You are always free to do that.
I wonder when you will realize that nothing changes for you if a neighbor buys an electric car or commutes by bicycle, that even if that happens, you get to keep driving your big gas-guzzling truck.
I wonder when you will realize that nothing changes for you whatsoever if people kneel quietly during the national anthem.
Just so you know: I'm white. I'm middle class. I love Johnny Cash. I love honky tonks. I love Bi-mart and Costco. I love college basketball. I love the Andy Griffith Show. I love The Waltons. I love The Dirty Dozen. I love Judge Judy. I used to watch Live PD - though I tended to yell "Don't answer questions! You have the right to remain silent!" at the TV over and over. I still watch Gone With the Wind. I don't like when things that are bland are called vanilla, because, in fact, vanilla is a rich, delicious flavoring and, also, I don't think I'm bland, I don't think bluegrass is bland, I don't think opera is bland, I don't think anything I love is bland.
Being a part of the Democratic Party doesn't mean I lose any of the "white people" things I love. Supporting civil rights and Black Lives Matter doesn't mean I lose any of the "white people" things I love. I just think about things VERY differently than I did in my younger days: I am always sad now that there are no black people in Mayberry. I love GWTW while also acknowledging it was written by a racist and represents racism. I will watch Judge Judy reruns until my dying day and also be appalled at how tone-deaf she can be about how hard it is for renters to find new places to live.
I guess it comes down to this: I just don't get how white people that voted for Trump think they are under siege. The majority of white voters are NOT under economic stress, they are NOT economically disadvantaged, they are going to keep loving what they love, they get to keep their guns, and that's not going to change in their lifetime.
I think you, Trump supporters, are fascists. I really do. I'm not calling you that to hurt your feelings - I'm saying it as a reality. You are fascists. By definition.
Fascism is a belief in ultra-nationalism (jingoism), fueled by xenophobia, racism, anti-Semitism, chauvinism, and isolationism. Fascists believe in the supremacy of their national or ethnic group over all others. Fascists are usually on the extreme political right. Fascists usually have one favored religion over all others. Fascism is characterized by an insistence on obedience to a powerful leader - a demagogue. Fascists are often elected to office in fully Democratic processes. And fascists can be happy only in the defeat of those that are not fascists - that is their only path to joy.
Even with this election, the United States is a fascist country. That cannot be disputed. We are full of millions and millions and millions of fascist people. This is who the Republican Party is. This is who at least half the country is. And I've no idea how to make you not fascists. Can you love your country and not be a fascist? Yes - I love my country and I'm not a fascist. You can love your language, love your country, love your religion and love a person in your political party and NOT be a fascist.
I'm exhausted. I'm tired. But I'm also relieved. I'm going to rest up and regroup so I can be part of the movement to retake a LOT of things we've lost and so we can rebuild a bigger, better "wall" between church and state, between American values and fascism, between misinformation and facts.
Lots to do. Wear a mask while you do it.
Outstanding! Thank you.
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