I never want to forget this week

I haven't blogged about the coup attempt almost two weeks ago because I am still so horrified and outraged, I just can't even. I still seethe at the videos and I fully, passionately support the fullest prosecution of every damn person involved, all the way to the top. What else is there to be said?

I want to focus on better things in this blog. 

January 19, 2020 was a day of immersing myself in funny things, so I wouldn't feel so anxious about my worst fears coming true the next day. I celebrated that Disney+ has announced that all five seasons of ‘The Muppet Show’ will be available to stream on February 19th with an animated gif of Luke Skywalker and Miss Piggy and thanked Joe Biden for making it possible. I listened to the carpool karaoke of "One Day More" three times. I watched the Randy Rainbow goodbye even more. I laughed at other people's posts a LOT. Theater people were the stars that day with hilarious and glorious parody songs and videos, bless 'em. 

Of course, the day wasn't without one final outrage: the tweet from Mike Pompeo. One more slap in the face. One more reminder that fascism is still a threat. And the news that Los Angeles county had relaxed its air quality restrictions so they can do more cremations than they are usually allowed to do, because of all the people dying from COVID-19 - a reminder of just how deadly the last four years have been and how long we're going to pay for this nightmare.

At my staff meeting for one of my clients that day, my supervisor announced that the company was asking everyone NOT to schedule any meetings for Inauguration Day. I hadn't scheduled any social media posts, just as I hadn't for January 8th, both for fear of what might happen and because I knew no one would see them in the sea of messages about national events that would happen that day (yes, of course I knew something awful would happen on Jan. 8th, I just didn't realize the magnitude). 

I didn't think I would be able to sleep the night before the inauguration but, in fact, I did. Stress sleep. It's what I do. 

Wednesday morning, I got up at 5:30 a.m., as usual. I sat down on my usual place on the couch and turned on network TV, forgoing my usual viewing of BBC News. I sat there, watching the live coverage of the Capitol. And at one point, they showed the empty seats and platform for the inauguration, and I burst into sobs. Not tears - sobs. This was really happening. All of the Trump fascists, including the fascists in chief, were gone. They really, truly were gone. And Joe Biden was about to become President, a man who believes in science, someone far more patriotic and loving than me. 

It freaked Stefan out that I was so emotional, crying over a stage setup. What can I say - to me, what it represented - preparation for hope - was just completely overwhelming. 

On Facebook, I posted a link to Woody Guthrie singing "This Land is Your Land" and announced that I was opening sobbing and nothing had even happened yet. Turns out I wasn't alone. Thank you to everyone who jumped in the comments as we went through the day together. I just went back and read through the comments. I feel such a warmth flowing all through me as I read it. And how wonderful when, hours after that song first was on my mind that day, J Lo sang a bit of it. Oh, man, I so lost it in that moment, it was just perfect. That was the song of the day, as far as I'm concerned. 

Joe Biden wasn't my first, second nor third choice for President. But I can honestly say that this inauguration was so, so much more emotional for me than President Obama's. I think because, when Barack Obama became President, it just felt inevitable, even required, a continuation of the evolution of the country and its people. Like, "Hey, look at us, on the right track, going on our merry way to progress and goodness, because that's what we do! Wahoo, us! And we'll have a woman President in eight years!" But Biden's inauguration... we came so, so close to the horrifying alternative, and I couldn't stop thinking about that. Remember all my dire predictions regarding the Trump presidency and my stated fears and how I lost friends over my predictions and terror and outrage - and how I was right about pretty much EVERYTHING I predicted? Do you really want my list for what was coming had so many, many people not stayed absolutely resolute and dedicated and Stacy Abrams and everyone else not gotten out the vote? 

The last two days have far, far exceeded my expectations: all these Executive Orders reversing some of the biggest travesties of the previous administration, the firings of the heads of the VOA and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, taking the reigns off of Fauci... President Joe Biden has accomplished in two days what I expected to take a month or two. 

And I am feeling smug. I admit it. I laid out a plan at the start of the nonsense four years ago and it was inflexible and intolerant and I stuck to it and, by gosh, I AM PROUD OF IT. I still believe silence means approval. I still believe that you cannot "come together" with fascists. I'm still as angry at the people who voted for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein or wrote in Bernie for President or, even worse, didn't vote at all.  

But mostly, I'm focused on doing all I can to ensure that fascism never gets such a foothold in the White House - and rooting out what's in the Senate, the House, and state legislatures across this country. Mostly, I'm feeling hope.