I heard this song a few years ago in a recycling commercial on TV. And almost every time, I would have to fight back tears. Because just a snippet of words hit so close to home.
The song is Changes by Langhorne Slim & The Law. And it nails in words and tone the first 10 years of my life back in the USA, of what it has been like to enter my late 40s and early 50s.
I'm in a much better place now than those first 10 years. Getting ready for Baja, and doing that trip, was a turning point, one that I had been working towards since 2009, when I got my motorcycle license. Learning piano, practicing guitar, studying Spanish, getting a part-time job and, of course, my husband and dog - it's what's kept me from the Dark Side.
Now: I've mostly accepted my work situation. I know that I did all that I could once I realized what was happening. And I'm not sure there's much I could have done to head the situation off with more planning and action earlier. And I've accepted that I'm more cynical now, that I've been WAY too trusting and loyal to many people I shouldn't have over the years - but I'm also still capable of being kind on a day-to-day basis, that kindness is not a weakness, and it's still usually better to just walk away than to say all that I'm thinking.
I'm not saying it's all fine now. But for now, it's better. I just wish I'd been better prepared for this time of life.
57.
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