We're going to Mexico! We're going to tour Baja, California, all the way down and all the way back up, on our motorcycles.
Our bikes will be towed down to Southern California by someone we're paying to do so and will be with a friend for a few days, then we fly down, stay overnight and head out the next day over the border. We'll go all the way down to Cabo San Lucas and back up to Oregon. 21 days, 4000 miles.
I will write about the trip on my web site when we're back.
I have already started posting photos of our trip preparation.
And I'll tweet from the trip when I am able.
Monday, February 24, 2020
Friday, February 21, 2020
Lesson learned. Again.
In more than 30 years of working, I've been fired from one job:
It was at a nonprofit (of course). I had moved more than 1000 miles across the USA for the job. Then Executive Director who had hired me quit several weeks after I started, leaving me with a PR disaster to solve at a time when there was a vibrant local press and their voice carried tremendous weight. I consider my strategy to avoid that PR disaster one of the greatest professional accomplishments of my life, but I never got to celebrate it: the new Executive Director loathed me from even before she started, calling the office before her first day to chew me out because a senior manager had given an interview my second week of work where she said some really indelicate things about lack of donor support - apparently, her words were my fault.
For the next 11 months, I was convinced I could win that new Executive Director over. Three months in, the Executive Director from my old job called to offer me my old, summer-only job back, telling me they just couldn't go on without me. And it was tempting to move back across the country and go back to what I had been doing... but, no, I was staying and I was going to turn this experience around! I made sure everything that came out of my mouth was a supportive and complimentary. If I got blamed for something, I just apologized and said I would do better and never offered any explanation or defense. I worked nights and weekends to make sure absolutely everything in my charge ran smoothly. I even socialized with some of the Executive Director's allies just to show what a good, fun person I am!
And I got fired anyway: she decided I did something a day before I should have done it. Yes, seriously. When I went to the unemployment office for the first and only time in my life, the agent said, "THAT's why you got fired? You want to fight that?!" No, thanks. Just give me a check until I get a temp job (got one starting the next week that paid WAY more than unemployment and turned into a two-year job that paid better than anything I'd ever done up to that point - even got profit sharing!).
The reality is I was doomed at that nonprofit from the start, and I had behaved like the adult child of an alcoholic that I am, thinking I could fix this toxic situation through plucky optimism and constant compliance. Months later, when I could finally think back on it and not cry, I realized that not only was I doomed from the start, but it had been a mistake to be so acquiescent. I wasn't just deferential - I was servile. I looked back on that time and was deeply ashamed of myself: if you get fired, it should at least be for who you REALLY are. It would have been so much better to get fired for speaking out than to get fired despite putting my tail between my legs and conceding in the face of every demeaning comment and criticism.
I don't regret getting fired from that job - it was inevitable and there is nothing I could have done to stop it. I regret my behavior leading up to the moment - my be-agreeable-at-all-costs-don't-upset-anyone walking-on-eggshells behavior.
I never behaved that way in a job ever again. Until recently. And the consequences were ALMOST the same - I wasn't fired, but my last day got moved up four weeks.
I should have spoken out immediately about the bullying and degrading comments and mismanagement. I should have said, "I know that this isn't something you really want to hear, but I have to bring this to your attention..." I didn't. I covered for the mismanagement and sometimes took the blame, just to get through the impending, urgent deadline and show a public-facing success. I held my tongue. And the consequences were almost the same. Once again, I regret far, far more what I didn't say than anything I did.
It is better to be criticized for doing something honestly and deliberately because you believe it is the best action to take for the benefit of the organization and per what your job description says you should be doing, than to try to avoid conflict. It is better to say, "This isn't working and here's the data to prove it..." or "Here is a problem that will need to be addressed..." than to sugar coat everything, or to just not say anything at all and hope for the best.
I did finally speak out. And if, as a result, I burned a bridge, so be it - I feel far, far better for saying what I have than for all I swallowed in pursuit of "Let's not upset her..."
And, as usual, it is amazing to me that my honesty and frankness, which would be celebrated and rewarded in a man, is criticized as "I don't like your tone" by a woman. And it also amazing to me that what one employer loves and rewards, another will reprimand.
Anyway... lesson learned. Again.
It was at a nonprofit (of course). I had moved more than 1000 miles across the USA for the job. Then Executive Director who had hired me quit several weeks after I started, leaving me with a PR disaster to solve at a time when there was a vibrant local press and their voice carried tremendous weight. I consider my strategy to avoid that PR disaster one of the greatest professional accomplishments of my life, but I never got to celebrate it: the new Executive Director loathed me from even before she started, calling the office before her first day to chew me out because a senior manager had given an interview my second week of work where she said some really indelicate things about lack of donor support - apparently, her words were my fault.
For the next 11 months, I was convinced I could win that new Executive Director over. Three months in, the Executive Director from my old job called to offer me my old, summer-only job back, telling me they just couldn't go on without me. And it was tempting to move back across the country and go back to what I had been doing... but, no, I was staying and I was going to turn this experience around! I made sure everything that came out of my mouth was a supportive and complimentary. If I got blamed for something, I just apologized and said I would do better and never offered any explanation or defense. I worked nights and weekends to make sure absolutely everything in my charge ran smoothly. I even socialized with some of the Executive Director's allies just to show what a good, fun person I am!
And I got fired anyway: she decided I did something a day before I should have done it. Yes, seriously. When I went to the unemployment office for the first and only time in my life, the agent said, "THAT's why you got fired? You want to fight that?!" No, thanks. Just give me a check until I get a temp job (got one starting the next week that paid WAY more than unemployment and turned into a two-year job that paid better than anything I'd ever done up to that point - even got profit sharing!).
The reality is I was doomed at that nonprofit from the start, and I had behaved like the adult child of an alcoholic that I am, thinking I could fix this toxic situation through plucky optimism and constant compliance. Months later, when I could finally think back on it and not cry, I realized that not only was I doomed from the start, but it had been a mistake to be so acquiescent. I wasn't just deferential - I was servile. I looked back on that time and was deeply ashamed of myself: if you get fired, it should at least be for who you REALLY are. It would have been so much better to get fired for speaking out than to get fired despite putting my tail between my legs and conceding in the face of every demeaning comment and criticism.
I don't regret getting fired from that job - it was inevitable and there is nothing I could have done to stop it. I regret my behavior leading up to the moment - my be-agreeable-at-all-costs-don't-upset-anyone walking-on-eggshells behavior.
I never behaved that way in a job ever again. Until recently. And the consequences were ALMOST the same - I wasn't fired, but my last day got moved up four weeks.
I should have spoken out immediately about the bullying and degrading comments and mismanagement. I should have said, "I know that this isn't something you really want to hear, but I have to bring this to your attention..." I didn't. I covered for the mismanagement and sometimes took the blame, just to get through the impending, urgent deadline and show a public-facing success. I held my tongue. And the consequences were almost the same. Once again, I regret far, far more what I didn't say than anything I did.
It is better to be criticized for doing something honestly and deliberately because you believe it is the best action to take for the benefit of the organization and per what your job description says you should be doing, than to try to avoid conflict. It is better to say, "This isn't working and here's the data to prove it..." or "Here is a problem that will need to be addressed..." than to sugar coat everything, or to just not say anything at all and hope for the best.
I did finally speak out. And if, as a result, I burned a bridge, so be it - I feel far, far better for saying what I have than for all I swallowed in pursuit of "Let's not upset her..."
And, as usual, it is amazing to me that my honesty and frankness, which would be celebrated and rewarded in a man, is criticized as "I don't like your tone" by a woman. And it also amazing to me that what one employer loves and rewards, another will reprimand.
Anyway... lesson learned. Again.
Friday, February 7, 2020
overwhelmed by the injustice of our times
I so want this to be true:
As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate.
From "Letter to M. Nadeau" (30 March 1973) from E.B. White, American essayist, columnist, poet and editor. He is best known today for his work in a writers' guide, The Elements of Style, and for three children's books Charlotte's Web, Stuart Little and The Trumpet of the Swan.
Please tell me the guy who wrote The Elements of Style isn't wrong (required reading for all Western Kentucky University journalism majors back in the day - still have my copy).
I feel like that, even if it's not a contagion, it's still worth having hope if there is still just one upright woman and one compassionate man who are refusing not only to be a part of this madness right now, but are also refusing to be silent about it. It's still worth fighting.
But I fully admit, I'm getting tired.
As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate.
From "Letter to M. Nadeau" (30 March 1973) from E.B. White, American essayist, columnist, poet and editor. He is best known today for his work in a writers' guide, The Elements of Style, and for three children's books Charlotte's Web, Stuart Little and The Trumpet of the Swan.
Please tell me the guy who wrote The Elements of Style isn't wrong (required reading for all Western Kentucky University journalism majors back in the day - still have my copy).
I feel like that, even if it's not a contagion, it's still worth having hope if there is still just one upright woman and one compassionate man who are refusing not only to be a part of this madness right now, but are also refusing to be silent about it. It's still worth fighting.
But I fully admit, I'm getting tired.
Sunday, February 2, 2020
What private healthcare insurance is like in the USA
I got this from a friend in Kentucky. I have her permission to post it, with the name of her husband's former employer, through which she got her insurance, redacted. This is a great illustration of how the private health care system works - the one so many Democrats think the USA should keep:
I haven’t been back to the therapist I saw because there has been this big pissing contest between Medicare and Anthem over who is primary for me. It’s taken weeks to get it settled. Just got it worked out on Friday so now I can get back to seeing my providers.
Anthem has been paying as primary for over a year and suddenly decides they shouldn’t be. So they went back and pulled payment from EVERYONE they had paid. So all of my providers are calling me...pissed. Which I understand. So I call Anthem. They can’t explain it. They tell me to call Company Name Redacted. Company Name Redacted can’t explain it. They contact Anthem. Anthem can’t explain it to them. Send them higher up the chain. Still can’t explain it. Send them even higher. Finally someone explains it. Company Name Redacted notifies me. I call Medicare which is a nightmare of being sent from department to department. Finally get it straightened out.
Now it all has to be rebilled. It's fucked up.
She has stories like this ALL THE TIME. She is someone who NEEDS her health insurance. I hear these stories and think, shit, what am I going to do when I need more than an annual checkup?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)