You are smart!

I've been having this issue for a few years: discovering that various individuals, and people in entire professions, aren't anywhere near as smart as I assumed they were. 

We all have many, many things we do NOT know. No one can know everything. And sometimes, a non-expert knows something that you would think an expert would know but doesn't. I get all of that. 

In her first book, Michelle Obama noted that she has been at the table with leaders of countries, corporations and foundations, that as a lawyer she worked with powerful corporate folks and served on corporate boards, that she's met oh-so-many people from the United Nations, and she has realized, they are not that smart, they are not brainy super humans. It isn't to say that these leaders aren't capable of the work at hand, that none of them should be in those roles, etc. But they really are not THAT smart, no hugely smarter than YOU. 

I loved that part of her book because it's what I realized when I was working at the United Nations: I went through about six months of imposter syndrome and then realized I was every bit as smart as most of the folks there, and a lot more sensible, intuitive, strategic and capable than a lot of them. 

People elected to office, medical doctors and attorneys are consistently the ones that disappoint me the most: the ones who are oblivious to what I assumed most people know, or are oblivious to people's feelings. The ones who do not listen, and show it when they respond to something someone has said to them, someone they are supposed to be helping or serving or representing. The ones that seem overly-shocked when they get any hostility or confusion to what they are saying or want to do. 

I used to think I could never, ever be a lawyer, that I wasn't bright enough. I thought lawyers had to be highly intelligent and quick-witted on a level far above me. But I've realized in the last few years that, in fact, I am smart enough to be a lawyer, and I could have been a damn good one. I could have been a lawyer! But I never dared pursue something like that - that's for the smartest of the smart, right? It's sad to realize this at 57. I even looked into paralegal classes near where I live, but ultimately decided I'm done with getting degrees and trying a new career yet again. The only class I really want to take is two weeks in Oaxaca for Spanish. 

But in another life, I'm an immigration lawyer. And my sister is a lawyer specializing in elder affairs.

You are smart. Never doubt that. Keep learning, keep growing, but take up space in that meeting - you deserve to be there.