In December 2016, I was told, "It doesn't matter to the average person who is President. It doesn't really affect everyday people."
In response, I said parents would be ripped away from their children because of the election. I said people would start losing their health care and some would die as a consequence. I said public lands would start shrinking and environmental protections would be radically rolled back.
As I said in a blog back in 2016 after that night, that smirking person said:
I was being "alarmist" and "overly-dramatic" regarding Trump and his supporters, that it's not "that bad", that I should be more tolerant and caring regarding his supporters, some of whom are my neighbors, that they aren't "bad" people, that being polite and listening to them would be good for me...
My pushback against this person made observers uncomfortable. I ended up losing some people I considered friends because I dared to talk openly after that night about the horror show that quickly unfolded after January: the ban on Muslim immigrants, the canceling of green card status for people who have lived and worked here for many years, the scaling back of the affordable care act and the taking away of health care coverage from thousands (soon millions), the flat wages while prices rise, the layoffs of thousands of people and closing of businesses, the scaling back of public lands, the elimination of various environmental protections, the elimination of protections for home buyers and people with student debt, Nazis proudly marching in the streets of the USA, emboldened and empowered by the President, the President's open adoration of violent regimes (Russia, Saudi Arabia, North Korean, etc.), the separation of children and their families at the borders, the internment camps for immigrants, and, of course, the rich getting oh-so-richer while critically-needed safety net programs were eliminated.
So, yeah, I was right about the consequences of election night - in fact, I underestimated the consequences. But I take no pleasure in being right about it. None. I would have loved to have been wrong.
I didn't really think about then was how the Presidency would affect me, personally, so quickly: two much-needed jobs in the pipeline completely disappeared within weeks of the election because of anticipated federal budget cuts. Former clients have greatly scaled back because of federal cuts. We're holding our breath over a quickly-approaching green card renewal as we read horror stories of denials.
When I say elections are going to have dire consequences and affect real people, I'm not imagining things nor exaggerating. All of this affects real people, and if it hasn't affected you, then you are privileged.
It's not enough to vote in November - ask neighbors if they are registered. Ask them if they need a voter guide from the League of Women Voters (your state has them online). Ask them if they know where their polling place is. Ask your college-student sons and daughters' friends the same.
Also see Silence means approval
Showing posts with label Trump. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trump. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Monday, May 29, 2017
Thoughts on yet another white terrorist, this time in Portland, Oregon
A lot of folks are shocked that the terrorist in Portland who murdered two people and sent a third to the hospital was both a Nazi sympathizer and a supporter of Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein.
I’m not shocked, probably because I’ve so many tweets from these folks around the 2016 election.
These people that believe in outrageous myths about Jewish people and their religion, but intended to vote for Bernie Sanders, are a strange bunch: they ignore the social issue stands of such candidates - their support for marriage equality, their rhetoric regarding racial justice, etc. - and zero in only, ONLY, on the populist economic message. Working-class white voters love fighters and outsiders, and it’s why you heard from them things like, “Well, I could vote for Trump or Sanders, either way.” Which makes no sense to people who carefully listened to what these two candidates were saying and read their track records, and as a result, saw the clear, obvious differences in these candidates. Trump repeatedly praised Sanders at rallies, because he knew how many of his supporters liked him - Sanders blasted Trump, but that never seemed to be heard by Sanders-or-Trump folks. Sanders-or-Trump folks also globbed on to Bernie’s support for gun ownership and his vote against immigration reform, which he said he did because pro-reform senators are “selling out American workers. In fact, they are selling out our entire country.” Trump-leaning supporters heard in those words “Immigrants are bad!”
The any-outsider-never-a-seasoned-politican crowd draws a diverse crowd, and I'm sorry that it took this incident for people to realize that.
And note that I say all of this as someone who voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary.
The murder by this terrorist, this white supremacist, has also brought back a memory:
10 or 11 or 12 years ago, taking a train from where I lived in Sinzig, Germany, my German wasn’t much better than it is now - and that means it was really, really awful. But I knew, from the tone of the voice I heard to my left, that something was wrong. I looked across the aisle and there was a young Muslim woman, in her hijab, and a German man across from her, in his 40s or so, scruffy, maybe a street person, sitting way too far forward on his seat, getting into her personal space, berating her with questions. She was answering softly, or not at all, eyes averted. No one else was watching.
Then I saw his hand go on her knee and I exploded.
I jumped up and yelled some of the few words in German I know, “DU! RAUS!” and in a softer but firm voice, “Fräulein, bitte, hier” pointing the seat across from me. She sheepishly moved across the aisle and sat down where I pointed, while the man stood frozen, not looking at me, staring straight ahead. He was contemplating arguing with me. So I yelled again, “DU! RAUS! JETZ!”
He never looked at me, but he did turn to the aisle and walked down the car, and got out at the next exit.
I was trying not to visibly shake from anger and fear. I couldn’t think of anything to say to that poor woman, so we sat in silence as I glared down the car at the man, making sure he wasn’t coming back. The train car was silent now. None of the other passengers said a word or tried to help. I got off two stops later. I felt bad that I had never spoken to the woman, but I just didn't know what to say. Or how to say it in German.
And even knowing what I know now, you bet your ass I would do it again. I will not stop.
And may I add that I freakin’ stuck that rolling R in “raus!” better than Seargent Schultz ever did.
I’m not shocked, probably because I’ve so many tweets from these folks around the 2016 election.
These people that believe in outrageous myths about Jewish people and their religion, but intended to vote for Bernie Sanders, are a strange bunch: they ignore the social issue stands of such candidates - their support for marriage equality, their rhetoric regarding racial justice, etc. - and zero in only, ONLY, on the populist economic message. Working-class white voters love fighters and outsiders, and it’s why you heard from them things like, “Well, I could vote for Trump or Sanders, either way.” Which makes no sense to people who carefully listened to what these two candidates were saying and read their track records, and as a result, saw the clear, obvious differences in these candidates. Trump repeatedly praised Sanders at rallies, because he knew how many of his supporters liked him - Sanders blasted Trump, but that never seemed to be heard by Sanders-or-Trump folks. Sanders-or-Trump folks also globbed on to Bernie’s support for gun ownership and his vote against immigration reform, which he said he did because pro-reform senators are “selling out American workers. In fact, they are selling out our entire country.” Trump-leaning supporters heard in those words “Immigrants are bad!”
The any-outsider-never-a-seasoned-politican crowd draws a diverse crowd, and I'm sorry that it took this incident for people to realize that.
And note that I say all of this as someone who voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary.
The murder by this terrorist, this white supremacist, has also brought back a memory:
10 or 11 or 12 years ago, taking a train from where I lived in Sinzig, Germany, my German wasn’t much better than it is now - and that means it was really, really awful. But I knew, from the tone of the voice I heard to my left, that something was wrong. I looked across the aisle and there was a young Muslim woman, in her hijab, and a German man across from her, in his 40s or so, scruffy, maybe a street person, sitting way too far forward on his seat, getting into her personal space, berating her with questions. She was answering softly, or not at all, eyes averted. No one else was watching.
Then I saw his hand go on her knee and I exploded.
I jumped up and yelled some of the few words in German I know, “DU! RAUS!” and in a softer but firm voice, “Fräulein, bitte, hier” pointing the seat across from me. She sheepishly moved across the aisle and sat down where I pointed, while the man stood frozen, not looking at me, staring straight ahead. He was contemplating arguing with me. So I yelled again, “DU! RAUS! JETZ!”
He never looked at me, but he did turn to the aisle and walked down the car, and got out at the next exit.
I was trying not to visibly shake from anger and fear. I couldn’t think of anything to say to that poor woman, so we sat in silence as I glared down the car at the man, making sure he wasn’t coming back. The train car was silent now. None of the other passengers said a word or tried to help. I got off two stops later. I felt bad that I had never spoken to the woman, but I just didn't know what to say. Or how to say it in German.
And even knowing what I know now, you bet your ass I would do it again. I will not stop.
And may I add that I freakin’ stuck that rolling R in “raus!” better than Seargent Schultz ever did.
Monday, January 9, 2017
How White People Can Survive The Next Four Years
Other than pushing the "heart" icon on every tweet by the incoming President, what can white people in the USA - or anyone perceived as white - do to stay safe and happy for the next four years under the new administration? Here are some ideas:
How you will sleep at night, however - that's another matter.
And if you can't tell this is satire, you're probably a Trump voter.
Also see:
- When someone tries to talk about anything political, say things like "whoever is President doesn't really affect most people" and "I don't really care about politics right now" and "I'm not going to read or watch the news anymore." Say you're focused instead on "being positive," and "listening to everyone's point of view."
- When your friends express fears about what the incoming President has said he will do, or when he actually does something that frightens them, like asking for the names of US government officials that have attended international conferences on climate change, or the names of US Department of State staff that have worked on gender-related initiatives, tell those friends that they are being "alarmist" and that they need to "take a break from worrying." You may have to stop hanging out with them to keep yourself safe from their worries.
- When any friends or neighbors say they are not going to do anything that might be seen as appeasing racists that support Trump, or as appeasement regarding racist or fascist actions by the incoming Presidential administration, chide them for not being inclusive or tolerant or Patriotic, and for making other people "uncomfortable" by being intolerant. Tell them you love your country and that you "respect differences in opinion" no matter what and "want to keep the peace" and that you are committed to learning more about the "other" side's point of view, no matter what the point of view is, because the people that say those racist, fascist things, or the people that say that those who say such things "aren't really bad people," are members of your family, or are your neighbors or co-workers, and that means they aren't really serious about those comments. In fact, don't worry at all about saying anything that's even vaguely racist, let alone overtly, yourself, similar to what the incoming President has said about immigrants, black Americans, people of Mexican heritage and American Indians. Balk when friends try to bring up Nazi Germany.
- Keep saying over and over that Trump voters aren't really bad people and that their votes were about the economy. Be in complete denial that data keeps showing, again and again, that Trump voters were NOT voting for the economy - they were voting for racism and sexism. Don't read this paper by political scientists Brian Schaffner, Matthew MacWilliams, and Tatishe Nteta that puts the blame back on the same factors people pointed to before the election: racism and sexism. Don't look at their research-based chart that shows that voters’ measures of sexism and racism correlated much more closely with support for Trump than economic dissatisfaction... a bulk of support for Trump — perhaps what made him a contender to begin with — came from beliefs rooted in racism and sexism. Specifically, the researchers conclude that racism and sexism explain most of Trump’s enormous electoral advantage with non-college-educated white Americans, the group that arguably gave Trump the election."
- Don't donate to, volunteer for,or attend any event by any organizations that help immigrants, that advocate for living wages, that say anything about the "working poor" (no such thing!), that advocate for more affordable housing or imply that rents are too expensive for millions of people in the USA, that help women seeking abortion services, that help women access or learn about pregnancy prevention, or that are associated with Muslims in any way. Don't "like" the status updates of any such organizations on Facebook, or show any support for them on any social media.
- Don't say anything supportive of "Black Lives Matter." Whenever someone says "Black Lives Matter," Say "All lives matter!" Use the words the incoming President has to talk about black neighborhoods : call them "war zones", and say that black Americans are "living in your poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs,", etc., but don't actually visit any black neighborhoods for yourself. Say similar things to what the incoming President has said about Black Americans, like “They didn’t come out to vote for Hillary. They didn’t come out. And that was a big — so thank you to the African-American community.” (citation). Discourage any black Americans from voting.
- Do NOT associate with Muslims. Inter-faith events might be okay, to show you don't hate all of them, but don't go to any speeches by Muslims, especially those that express concern about things like a "Muslim registry."
- Don't say anything negative about the coal industry, oil drillers, gas pipelines, brokers and financial advisers, real estate speculation, private prisons, Trump hotels, or Trump university. Do say negative things about the solar industry.
- Talk about the failure of public schools and how you want federal money to go to private schools, which is where you send your children or want to or would want to, if you had school-aged children. Cite as one of your reasons for this that a majority of U.S. public school students come from low-income families (just above 50%); blame public schools for this.
- Talk about how Scott Baio is really under-rated as an actor and political commentator. Lamet that Wayne Rogers died before he could vote for Trump. Go to concerts by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and Azealia Banks, and praise them on social media. Buy lots of Duck Dynasty-related merchandise, and note that you have done so on social media. Disparage the lauded, legendary musical "Hamilton."
- Don't go to Cuba, unless it's with a Christian organization that wants to convert people there to an evangelical religion, and if you do visit, then when you come back, talk about how horrible life is there and how pitiful Cubans are compared to people in the USA.
- Post on social media with warm words about Vladamir Putin. Say he's a man "highly respected within his own country and beyond," as our incoming President has. Don't say anything about the 21 Russian journalists who have been murdered during Putin's tenure, who had written articles critical of his actions and policies. Don't say anything about the illegal war he's waging in Eastern Ukraine, his illegal annexation of Crimea and expulsion of Muslim Tatars from the peninsula, his illegal annexation of areas of Georgia, his staunch campaigning against what he calls "gay propaganda", or the forced evictions of people from their homes for the Sochi Olympics. Say you are grateful for the Russians illegally hacking into computers in the USA. Even better: travel to Russia and, when you return, no matter what you saw, say how great it was there and how everyone is happy and loves their President.
How you will sleep at night, however - that's another matter.
And if you can't tell this is satire, you're probably a Trump voter.
Also see:
Saturday, December 31, 2016
2017 & beyond
From "The Empire Strikes Back: We thought women would break new ground in 2016. We were wrong," by Michelle Goldberg for Slate.
However freakishly contingent his triumph, it forecloses the future feminists imagined at least for a long while. We’re going be blown backward so far that this irredeemably shitty year may someday look like a lost feminist golden age. The very idea that women are equal citizens, that barriers to their full human flourishing should be identified and removed, is now up for grabs. A pastor warming up the crowd at a post-election Trump rally in Louisiana promised that with Trump in office, the White House would be a place “where men know who men are, women know who women are.” The massive power of the American state is about to be marshaled to put women in their place.
We might well lose Roe v. Wade in the next four years. Trump has said the issue would then go back to the states, but there’s no reason to think that Republicans would settle for anything less than a national ban. There is a particular insult at the thought of a sybarite like Trump, who still won’t say whether he’s ever paid for an abortion himself, imposing a regime of forced birth on American women. When and if Trump strips us of bodily autonomy, there won’t be any illusions that he’s doing it to protect life or the family or sexual morality. It will be because he has power, and women’s hopes and plans for their own lives don’t matter to him at all.
Controlling the course of our own lives is going to get harder in many different ways. We can say goodbye to Department of Education pressure on colleges to address campus rape. We can expect the end of federal aid for Planned Parenthood and of federal government action to promote equal pay and fight sexual harassment and pregnancy discrimination. The Women’s Bureau, the one department in the federal government tasked with responding to the needs of women in the workforce, will now fall under the aegis of former Carl’s Jr. honcho Andrew Puzder, whose company is known for commercials featuring near-naked women in orgasmic communion with sandwiches. “I like beautiful women eating burgers in bikinis,” he said. “I think it’s very American.” Like top Trump adviser Steve Bannon, Puzder has also been accused of assaulting his now-ex wife.
Happy 2017.
However freakishly contingent his triumph, it forecloses the future feminists imagined at least for a long while. We’re going be blown backward so far that this irredeemably shitty year may someday look like a lost feminist golden age. The very idea that women are equal citizens, that barriers to their full human flourishing should be identified and removed, is now up for grabs. A pastor warming up the crowd at a post-election Trump rally in Louisiana promised that with Trump in office, the White House would be a place “where men know who men are, women know who women are.” The massive power of the American state is about to be marshaled to put women in their place.
We might well lose Roe v. Wade in the next four years. Trump has said the issue would then go back to the states, but there’s no reason to think that Republicans would settle for anything less than a national ban. There is a particular insult at the thought of a sybarite like Trump, who still won’t say whether he’s ever paid for an abortion himself, imposing a regime of forced birth on American women. When and if Trump strips us of bodily autonomy, there won’t be any illusions that he’s doing it to protect life or the family or sexual morality. It will be because he has power, and women’s hopes and plans for their own lives don’t matter to him at all.
Controlling the course of our own lives is going to get harder in many different ways. We can say goodbye to Department of Education pressure on colleges to address campus rape. We can expect the end of federal aid for Planned Parenthood and of federal government action to promote equal pay and fight sexual harassment and pregnancy discrimination. The Women’s Bureau, the one department in the federal government tasked with responding to the needs of women in the workforce, will now fall under the aegis of former Carl’s Jr. honcho Andrew Puzder, whose company is known for commercials featuring near-naked women in orgasmic communion with sandwiches. “I like beautiful women eating burgers in bikinis,” he said. “I think it’s very American.” Like top Trump adviser Steve Bannon, Puzder has also been accused of assaulting his now-ex wife.
Happy 2017.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
silence means approval
The day after the election, my family here in Oregon didn’t turn on the TV. We barely spoke. We stayed off of social media and news sites. Instead, we listened to music, watched some mindless movies, walked, and thought. We were shell shocked. And terrified.
On Nov. 12, I told my husband we had to have a talk. We talked about what our lives were going to be like over at least the next four years, our fears, if we were going to move to back to Europe much sooner than we planned, etc. It was a slow, quiet, sad conversation.
(For now, in case you are wondering, we’ve decided to stay in the USA, as job prospects in Europe aren’t bright and the darker forces right of the political aisle are poised to take over more European countries as well.)
And then I told him that I had thought very carefully over the last few days, for many, many hours, and that I had decided something that I needed to talk to him about. I said that he may or may not have noticed, but since 2011, I’d kept my offline, in-person political conversations very light. A lot of times, I wouldn’t say a word while people were joking about this or that politician, and I’d make some kind of excuse to leave if another guest at a gathering truly bothered me with political comments. I had avoided people that I found reprehensible politically, but I didn’t speak out, not for five years, when I found myself in the presence of such, because I wanted to keep the peace, not "cause problems", not cause a scene. In five years, there had been no confrontations, no pointed questions - I had had a policy of avoidance. But, as of this moment, that was changing, and I wanted him to know that, to be prepared. I would be getting rid of my secret Facebook account, where I raged freely about politics and other ridiculously with only my closest friend. I would now, instead, be using only the Facebook account with my real name, and that would become much more reflective of my beliefs - probably never as outrageous as my other account, but much more honest and less polite. I said that I was sorry, to a degree, for the pain and discomfort I would be causing him, specifically, but I couldn’t be polite and silent anymore. I wasn’t bent on making a scene, I wasn’t going to seek out a fight, but I was going to say what I thought if someone in my presence espoused anything that was even vaguely fascist, racist or apologetic regarding Trump supporters, or apologist for such. And if it was in my home, that person was OUT, no apologies. “I’m done” I said, through tears at long last. “I’m done, and I need you to understand that and be prepared for it. You can hope it won’t happen. I’ll hope it won’t happen. But I am DONE. Because I have been a part of the atmosphere that has allowed this election to happen. I’ve created safe spaces for these people by being quiet. I was too focused on being polite and accommodating and not making people uncomfortable. I’m not doing that anymore, especially not in my own home.”
I knew it was coming, and it is here, in force: an incredible pressure from so many, many people, and the media, to accommodate, to appease, the most vile ideas and proposals, to smile and stay silent, because that will help everyone be more comfortable and not have to face what's happening. The mantra: Be friends with everybody, no matter what, or YOU are the horrible person. These Trump supporters are really good people at heart, they just have different ideas. We can find lots of common ground. It’s not going to be so bad. It's not really going to affect you.
The strategy by so many that didn't vote for Trump is that the people that are bad, that are to be avoided, are NOT the people supporting a man that talks about Muslim registries, or talks lovingly about a murderous dictator, or promises to restrict a woman’s right to choose abortion and punish women who choose this option, or encourages followers to be violent, or courts white supremacists, or openly flaunting ethics rules, or refuses to talk to the US state department or the CIA, or promises to undo hard-fought, well-thought out international treaties, or appoints people to cabinet positions that want to dismantle the government programs they will oversee, or lies. No, the bad people are the "alarmists", those that remind you of what's happening, that remind you of the millions of people that will be hurt by his and his supporters' actions, and urge you to do something to counter what's happening. Those people are the intolerable ones, the ones to be avoided, the ones causing problems.
After saying it won’t be that bad, that the President and Congress won’t really do what they've said they would do, while thousands of people scream in delight, what comes next will be this: statements like “well, let’s just let them have this, and then they won’t do the rest of what they said they would” and then “it’s happening, true, but they’ve scaled back the plans, let’s be happy it won’t go quite as far as they said” and then "Well, yes, they are doing what they said they would do, but maybe it won't be that bad." And then "I'm just so busy, I've got my own things to deal with, I'm not watching the news these days, what he's doing is not really affecting me, I don't have time to think about this."
Maybe it’s because I’ve lived and traveled abroad so much. Or because I’m a history nerd. Or because I’ve both studied and seen first hand the consequences of racial supremacy propaganda, of demonization of minority groups, of marginalizing women. Or because I know people whove had a spouse or a parent or a child die in the wars of the two George Bushes, or women who faced horrific obstacles fueled by Reagan and Bush cronies regarding abortion services, or women forced to carry pregnancies to term as a result, or people who lost their savings in the savings and loan debacle of Reagan and the horrific financial practices supported by the second Bush, some of whom now live in tiny apartments or a room in a family member's home because they lost their own home. Maybe it’s because of how often I’ve thought of all the human rights fights in my country that I wasn’t in: the fight against slavery, the fight for women’s suffrage, the civil rights movement, the internment of Americans of Japanese descent, and on and on. I have sometimes imagined what I would have done in those historic human rights struggles, what role I would have taken. And then I remember that my parents, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, were not involved in any of those struggles, at least not on the right side of history. They’d either sat those out or, sadly, participated in the oppression. I would have done better had I been there, right?
Whatever the reason, I am not able to pretend there isn’t something horrible happening, and about to happen, in the USA as a result of the 2016 election, or that what a President says and does don't have consequences for millions of people. I cannot excuse someone saying, “I voted for Trump, but I didn’t support all this anti-Muslim rhetoric” or “I didn’t support his children being put into positions of power”, etc. You knew who he was and what he represented, and you voted for him anyway. Take responsibility: without you, it wouldn’t have happened. Own it. Own it as much as I own my words and actions. Silence means approval - if you are silent about it, you approve it.
After being dressed down in my own home three weeks ago by someone that said I was being "alarmist" and "overly-dramatic" regarding Trump and his supporters, that it's not "that bad", that I should be more tolerant and caring regarding his supporters, some of whom are my neighbors, that they aren't "bad" people, that being polite and listening to them would be good for me, and who smirked when I tried to speak up for those that are at risk over the next four years, and feeling the silence of everyone else as they watched and listened, I understand the enormous pressure to stay silent.
However, I cannot be silent.
I have a friend who is a particularly sensible person, a very smart person, and a very privileged person in many ways. But her family has felt under threat for a long while by a neighbor, an avowed Trump supporter who, thankfully, is now in jail for threats against a certain religious group with which she is associated. Here's what she said recently on her own Facebook page:
I vow to not let a single step be taken toward authoritarianism without speaking up. I vow to actively fight against the retraction of rights for LGBTQ people. I vow to rage against the continuing systematic racism that makes life for nearly half our population almost impossible. I promise to NEVER let sexist actions or remarks or attitudes go unchallenged. I vow to never stop fighting for freedom of the press, and of speech and against an executive who is only working to gather power for his own interests and those like him. I vow to continue my dedication to public lands and environmental protections and my firm, unyielding devotion to science. And I vow to support YOU if you are targeted in this new administration or by those emboldened by it.
You fucked up, America. And while I certainly hope my worst fears don't come true, I also hope that you who believed he believed in your success aren't betrayed by his selfish policies and, if and when you are betrayed, can step out of your partisan stance and recognize it. I will do the same if this man who is to become our President surprises me.
I thanked her, I relished at not being alone, and I asked, “Is it really more important to be polite than to make people uncomfortable by pointing out, yet again, that a fascist is taking over the country? I don't want to be an asshole - but I can't keep quiet. I can’t.”
She responded:
I’m going to embrace my inner asshole and let it shine - bc what is happening is unbelievably dangerous. Let's be assholes together.
I hope we can be the most awesome pains in the ass ever. So glad to know I won't be alone.
I now listen to the news on NPR again, as I did before. Now, I also subscribe to the New York Times, and read it every day, before I read any social media. And sometimes, I watch the morning news on TV. But I'm not watching CNN or MSNBC and, of course, never Fox News. I want in-depth, well-researched news, or I don't want it at all. And I want news, not commentary.
I'll never go looking for a political fight. I'm happy to avoid talk of politics. I'm happy to sit down with a group and talk about non-political things, and eat, and laugh. But if you are going to say something political, or tell me how really sweet your neighbor is that voted for Trump, I'm going to respond. I won't be creating any more safe spaces for fascists - or apologists for such.
Also see:
On Nov. 12, I told my husband we had to have a talk. We talked about what our lives were going to be like over at least the next four years, our fears, if we were going to move to back to Europe much sooner than we planned, etc. It was a slow, quiet, sad conversation.
(For now, in case you are wondering, we’ve decided to stay in the USA, as job prospects in Europe aren’t bright and the darker forces right of the political aisle are poised to take over more European countries as well.)
And then I told him that I had thought very carefully over the last few days, for many, many hours, and that I had decided something that I needed to talk to him about. I said that he may or may not have noticed, but since 2011, I’d kept my offline, in-person political conversations very light. A lot of times, I wouldn’t say a word while people were joking about this or that politician, and I’d make some kind of excuse to leave if another guest at a gathering truly bothered me with political comments. I had avoided people that I found reprehensible politically, but I didn’t speak out, not for five years, when I found myself in the presence of such, because I wanted to keep the peace, not "cause problems", not cause a scene. In five years, there had been no confrontations, no pointed questions - I had had a policy of avoidance. But, as of this moment, that was changing, and I wanted him to know that, to be prepared. I would be getting rid of my secret Facebook account, where I raged freely about politics and other ridiculously with only my closest friend. I would now, instead, be using only the Facebook account with my real name, and that would become much more reflective of my beliefs - probably never as outrageous as my other account, but much more honest and less polite. I said that I was sorry, to a degree, for the pain and discomfort I would be causing him, specifically, but I couldn’t be polite and silent anymore. I wasn’t bent on making a scene, I wasn’t going to seek out a fight, but I was going to say what I thought if someone in my presence espoused anything that was even vaguely fascist, racist or apologetic regarding Trump supporters, or apologist for such. And if it was in my home, that person was OUT, no apologies. “I’m done” I said, through tears at long last. “I’m done, and I need you to understand that and be prepared for it. You can hope it won’t happen. I’ll hope it won’t happen. But I am DONE. Because I have been a part of the atmosphere that has allowed this election to happen. I’ve created safe spaces for these people by being quiet. I was too focused on being polite and accommodating and not making people uncomfortable. I’m not doing that anymore, especially not in my own home.”
I knew it was coming, and it is here, in force: an incredible pressure from so many, many people, and the media, to accommodate, to appease, the most vile ideas and proposals, to smile and stay silent, because that will help everyone be more comfortable and not have to face what's happening. The mantra: Be friends with everybody, no matter what, or YOU are the horrible person. These Trump supporters are really good people at heart, they just have different ideas. We can find lots of common ground. It’s not going to be so bad. It's not really going to affect you.
The strategy by so many that didn't vote for Trump is that the people that are bad, that are to be avoided, are NOT the people supporting a man that talks about Muslim registries, or talks lovingly about a murderous dictator, or promises to restrict a woman’s right to choose abortion and punish women who choose this option, or encourages followers to be violent, or courts white supremacists, or openly flaunting ethics rules, or refuses to talk to the US state department or the CIA, or promises to undo hard-fought, well-thought out international treaties, or appoints people to cabinet positions that want to dismantle the government programs they will oversee, or lies. No, the bad people are the "alarmists", those that remind you of what's happening, that remind you of the millions of people that will be hurt by his and his supporters' actions, and urge you to do something to counter what's happening. Those people are the intolerable ones, the ones to be avoided, the ones causing problems.
After saying it won’t be that bad, that the President and Congress won’t really do what they've said they would do, while thousands of people scream in delight, what comes next will be this: statements like “well, let’s just let them have this, and then they won’t do the rest of what they said they would” and then “it’s happening, true, but they’ve scaled back the plans, let’s be happy it won’t go quite as far as they said” and then "Well, yes, they are doing what they said they would do, but maybe it won't be that bad." And then "I'm just so busy, I've got my own things to deal with, I'm not watching the news these days, what he's doing is not really affecting me, I don't have time to think about this."
Maybe it’s because I’ve lived and traveled abroad so much. Or because I’m a history nerd. Or because I’ve both studied and seen first hand the consequences of racial supremacy propaganda, of demonization of minority groups, of marginalizing women. Or because I know people whove had a spouse or a parent or a child die in the wars of the two George Bushes, or women who faced horrific obstacles fueled by Reagan and Bush cronies regarding abortion services, or women forced to carry pregnancies to term as a result, or people who lost their savings in the savings and loan debacle of Reagan and the horrific financial practices supported by the second Bush, some of whom now live in tiny apartments or a room in a family member's home because they lost their own home. Maybe it’s because of how often I’ve thought of all the human rights fights in my country that I wasn’t in: the fight against slavery, the fight for women’s suffrage, the civil rights movement, the internment of Americans of Japanese descent, and on and on. I have sometimes imagined what I would have done in those historic human rights struggles, what role I would have taken. And then I remember that my parents, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, were not involved in any of those struggles, at least not on the right side of history. They’d either sat those out or, sadly, participated in the oppression. I would have done better had I been there, right?
Whatever the reason, I am not able to pretend there isn’t something horrible happening, and about to happen, in the USA as a result of the 2016 election, or that what a President says and does don't have consequences for millions of people. I cannot excuse someone saying, “I voted for Trump, but I didn’t support all this anti-Muslim rhetoric” or “I didn’t support his children being put into positions of power”, etc. You knew who he was and what he represented, and you voted for him anyway. Take responsibility: without you, it wouldn’t have happened. Own it. Own it as much as I own my words and actions. Silence means approval - if you are silent about it, you approve it.
After being dressed down in my own home three weeks ago by someone that said I was being "alarmist" and "overly-dramatic" regarding Trump and his supporters, that it's not "that bad", that I should be more tolerant and caring regarding his supporters, some of whom are my neighbors, that they aren't "bad" people, that being polite and listening to them would be good for me, and who smirked when I tried to speak up for those that are at risk over the next four years, and feeling the silence of everyone else as they watched and listened, I understand the enormous pressure to stay silent.
However, I cannot be silent.
I have a friend who is a particularly sensible person, a very smart person, and a very privileged person in many ways. But her family has felt under threat for a long while by a neighbor, an avowed Trump supporter who, thankfully, is now in jail for threats against a certain religious group with which she is associated. Here's what she said recently on her own Facebook page:
I vow to not let a single step be taken toward authoritarianism without speaking up. I vow to actively fight against the retraction of rights for LGBTQ people. I vow to rage against the continuing systematic racism that makes life for nearly half our population almost impossible. I promise to NEVER let sexist actions or remarks or attitudes go unchallenged. I vow to never stop fighting for freedom of the press, and of speech and against an executive who is only working to gather power for his own interests and those like him. I vow to continue my dedication to public lands and environmental protections and my firm, unyielding devotion to science. And I vow to support YOU if you are targeted in this new administration or by those emboldened by it.
You fucked up, America. And while I certainly hope my worst fears don't come true, I also hope that you who believed he believed in your success aren't betrayed by his selfish policies and, if and when you are betrayed, can step out of your partisan stance and recognize it. I will do the same if this man who is to become our President surprises me.
I thanked her, I relished at not being alone, and I asked, “Is it really more important to be polite than to make people uncomfortable by pointing out, yet again, that a fascist is taking over the country? I don't want to be an asshole - but I can't keep quiet. I can’t.”
She responded:
I’m going to embrace my inner asshole and let it shine - bc what is happening is unbelievably dangerous. Let's be assholes together.
I hope we can be the most awesome pains in the ass ever. So glad to know I won't be alone.
I now listen to the news on NPR again, as I did before. Now, I also subscribe to the New York Times, and read it every day, before I read any social media. And sometimes, I watch the morning news on TV. But I'm not watching CNN or MSNBC and, of course, never Fox News. I want in-depth, well-researched news, or I don't want it at all. And I want news, not commentary.
I'll never go looking for a political fight. I'm happy to avoid talk of politics. I'm happy to sit down with a group and talk about non-political things, and eat, and laugh. But if you are going to say something political, or tell me how really sweet your neighbor is that voted for Trump, I'm going to respond. I won't be creating any more safe spaces for fascists - or apologists for such.
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